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Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v.2

Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 2
Every young adult will grow and live apart from their parents to form their own families. The ages for those young adults to be independent depends on each person. Some people may have to live longer with their parents and some others may not. This essay will discuss the issue of independent life and living with their families for a longer time. Most young adults prefer to have a separate or independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This is because they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But in fact many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they are actually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all. In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparation because competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that many University graduated students are unemployed. So living independently at an early age is not suitable for all young adults, some young adult may need to take more time to prepare themselves before going out to struggle. Young adults need to be ready to support themselves. Taking time to get more education and living with their families for a longer time may lead them to a better independent life because they will be well prepared for the hard-life outside. Still, living with their families for too long will not be a good idea because they could get to used to it and to be less independent. The time to live independently depends on the person itself. He or she must decide whether they are ready to leave their parents to have an independent life or not. The decision will vary from one person to another. A person should judge that he is capable of fulfilling his needs without being dependent on his parents; this indicates that he is ready for his independent life. Otherwise he might need to stay longer with his parents.
Every
young
adult will grow and
live
apart from their
parents
to form their
own
families
. The ages for those
young
adults
to be
independent
depends on each
person
.
Some
people
may
have to
live
longer
with their
parents
and
some
others may not. This essay will discuss the issue of
independent
life
and
living
with their
families
for a
longer
time.

Most
young
adults
prefer to have a separate or
independent
life
from their
parents
or
families
as
soon
as possible. This is
because
they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire.
But
in fact
many
of them fail. This should not be surprising since
often
they are actually not
ready
mentally although they are
physically
ready
. It is
widely
understood that to
live
independently
requires
a lot of
energy and is not easy at all. In this twenty
first
century,
people
may
need
more and more preparation
because
competition is increasing
rapidly
. An observation
shows
that
many
University graduated students
are unemployed
.

So
living
independently
at an early age is not suitable for all
young
adults
,
some
young
adult may
need
to take more
time
to prepare themselves
before
going out to struggle.
Young
adults
need
to be
ready
to support themselves. Taking
time
to
get
more education and
living
with their
families
for a
longer
time
may lead them to a better
independent
life
because
they will be
well prepared
for the
hard
-life outside.
Still
,
living
with their
families
for too long will not be a
good
idea
because
they could
get
to
used
to it and to be less independent.

The
time
to
live
independently
depends on the
person
itself. He or she
must
decide whether they are
ready
to
leave
their
parents
to have an
independent
life
or not. The decision will vary from one
person
to another. A
person
should judge that he is capable of fulfilling his
needs
without being dependent on his
parents
; this indicates that he is
ready
for his
independent
life
.
Otherwise
he might
need
to stay
longer
with his
parents
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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