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Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v.1

Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 1
Some people reckon that the tourist needs to accept all social and environmental responsibility where they visit while others disagree with them. I believe tourists need to accept all these responsibilities. Some people think If someone visits any country, they need to accept the responsibility related to social and environmental. They believe even for some time they are part of that country, but they need to obey all the rules and regulations of the country. We can't allow them to violate any rules and regulations of the country. For instance, If someone visits the USA and while crossing roads he/she didn't obey the traffic rule, so they can't claim any leverage of tourists. If they do anything wrong, they need to be punished for that. On the other hand, Some people think we can't restrict the tourists to obey all the rules and regulations because they are our guests. They visit here to explore our country and we need to give them respect and can't force them to obey all rules and regulations until, if there act to harm someone. For example, if someone visits the northern area of Pakistan, we can't enforce them to wear specific dresses in that area, they are our guests we need to facilitate them so they left us with good memories. In conclusion, both have their own point of view, but every area or country has some rules and regulation and they are above either you are a guest or citizens of the country. They need to be obeyed in every circumstance. So tourists need to accept all these responsibilities, this will also help them in exploring the visiting country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
all social and environmental responsibility where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
while others disagree with them. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
all these responsibilities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the responsibility related to social and environmental. They believe even for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they are part of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to violate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
the USA and while crossing roads he/she didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can't
claim any leverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. If they do anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be punished
for that.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can't
restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are our guests. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
here to explore our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to give them respect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can't
force them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
until, if there act to harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
the northern area of Pakistan, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can't
enforce them to wear specific dresses in that area, they are our guests we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to facilitate them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
us with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories.

In conclusion
, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every area or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
regulation and
they are above either you are a guest or citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be obeyed
in every circumstance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
all these responsibilities, this will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in exploring the visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support y v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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