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Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v.1

Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 1
Nowadays keeping body fit and healthy is an integral part of everyday routine because the majority of people are facing obesity problem due to a sedentary lifestyle. While some opine that enrolling gym or any health club is the best source to be healthy and fit, I, however, agree with those who hold the view that many other factors help stay fit apart from gymnasium such as walking, climbing, running and so on. On the one hand, it could be thought that maintaining the body in shape is only possible if one join a fitness club. This is because there are some people in society who generally fails to maintain their health without spending money on gym membership due to laziness or the dearth of time. Consequently, they tend to join for a gymnasium with own preferable schedule. Moreover, it could be said that the result could be seen in a very short time after joining the gym and it also allows celebrity or athlete to save their career. For example, for many famous celebrities, it is indispensable to join gym membership since it is difficult for them to keep a figure in shape without a gym. If they do not join, ultimately it will affect their career. On the other hand, I would argue that many activities can be done in order to keep the body fit over joining the fitness centre. Firstly, these activities like doing exercise climbing stairs, running, comes with a free of cost; however, it just needs the wholehearted dedication of the person who has a discipline in life. As a result, not only do such activities assist them to be active, but also boost their confidence and save money. For instance, a survey conducted by the Times of India found that 65% of the population who do regular exercise are more active and healthy compare to the gymnasium. Moreover, I would argue that after leaving the gym a person is more incline to gain weight, whereas, in natural exercise, the body can be maintained without worrying about increasing weight. In conclusion, although gymnasium allows people to maintain body shape within a short span of time, natural exercise like climbing and walking boost the confidence of the person and motivate them to continue without spending money. Therefore, on balance, I believe that activities like walking and climbing are enough to stay healthy and fit.
Nowadays keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is an integral part of everyday routine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing obesity problem due to a sedentary lifestyle. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or any health club is the best source to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
hold the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gymnasium
such as walking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
, running and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the one hand, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in shape is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
a fitness club. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
generally
fails to maintain their health without spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
membership due to laziness or the dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Consequently
, they tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gymnasium
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferable schedule.
Moreover
, it could
be said
that the result could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
celebrity or athlete to save their career.
For example
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
, it is indispensable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
membership since it is difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a figure in shape without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
. If they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
,
ultimately
it will affect their career.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can
be done
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
over joining the fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
stairs, running,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a free of cost;
however
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs the wholehearted dedication of the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a discipline in life.
As a result
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
assist them to be active,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost their confidence and save money.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India found that 65% of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are more active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gymnasium
.
Moreover
, I would argue that after leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
a person is more incline to gain weight, whereas, in natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
can
be maintained
without worrying about increasing weight.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gymnasium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
shape within a short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
and walking boost the confidence of the person and motivate them to continue without spending money.
Therefore
, on balance, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like walking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fit
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1 Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible Other young adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time Which of these solutions do you think is better Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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