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if universities are given financial support to develop researches, which one do you think would receive more benefits? a) To predict weather more accuratelyb) To clean rivers and oceanc) To deal with outer space v.2

if universities are given financial support to develop researches, which one do you think would receive more benefits? a) To predict weather more accuratelyb) To clean rivers and oceanc) To deal with outer space v. 2
nowadays, universities have various programs in which they invest in order to thrive different aspects of people' s lives. IN this regard, there are always many arguments among senior university officials about which aspect is more crucial than others; weather forecast, river clean up program, search of outer space. Some university officials believe that universities should pay more attention to cleaning rivers and oceans which are the largest ecosystem on earth. However, while protecting seas from unpleasant situations such as pollution is ecologically important, I think university activities must essentially revolve around precise weather forecast. Because, exact weather prediction can help farmers to increase their productions. Also, it prevents major damage caused by natural disasters such as flood. I will elaborate on my reasons in following paragraphs. First and foremost, agricultural is inherently sensitive to climate conditions. crop growth, or crop yield requires appropriate amounts of moisture, light and temperature. Detailed and accurate weather information can help farmers better understand and track the growth status to make informed decisions. Having access to this data can guide farmers in making significant and potentially costly decisions. Irrigation planning is a good example. If a farmer relies on a forecast for precipitation, that turns out to be accurate, he saves the cost of unnecessary irrigation. and by by having a good idea of the expected amount of rain over a period and irrigating just enough to allow crops to thrive, he will maximize his yield. secondly, one of the initiatives for crisis management could be enhancement of the capability of long-range forecasts. For example, more specifically for flooding, water sensor networks and advanced weather radar stations could help forecast extreme weather, giving communities more time to prepare. so forecasts, early warning systems and effective national weather services play an essential role in protecting local communities from weather and climate impacts such as flood. In conclusion, I strongly believe in the importance of weather forecast. By precise weather prediction, farmers could increase their harvest, and people could prepare themselves for extreme weather
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have various programs in which they invest in order to thrive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. IN this regard, there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments among senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
officials about which aspect is more crucial than others;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecast
, river clean up program, search of outer space.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
officials believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should pay more attention to cleaning rivers and oceans which are the largest ecosystem on earth.
However
, while protecting seas from unpleasant situations such as pollution is
ecologically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
essentially
revolve around precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecast
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, exact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
prediction can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to increase their productions.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
major damage caused by natural disasters such as flood. I will elaborate on my reasons in following paragraphs.

First
and foremost, agricultural is
inherently
sensitive to climate conditions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
crop
growth, or crop yield requires appropriate amounts of moisture, light and temperature. Detailed and accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
information can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
better understand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the growth status to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed decisions. Having access to this data can guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
in making significant and
potentially
costly decisions. Irrigation planning is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
relies on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecast
for precipitation, that turns out to be accurate, he saves the cost of unnecessary irrigation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
by by
having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
amount of rain over a period and irrigating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
crops to thrive, he will maximize his yield.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, one of the initiatives for crisis management could be enhancement of the capability of long-range
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecasts
.
For example
, more
specifically
for flooding, water sensor networks and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
radar stations could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecast
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
, giving communities more time to prepare.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecasts
, early warning systems and effective national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
services play an essential role in protecting local communities from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
and climate impacts such as flood.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe in the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forecast
. By precise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
prediction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
could increase their harvest, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could prepare themselves for extreme
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
weather
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay if universities are given financial support to develop researches, which one do you think would receive more benefits? a) To predict weather more accuratelyb) To clean rivers and oceanc) To deal with outer space v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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