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Task 1: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you parepare and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Task 1: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you parepare and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Some people insist that children should have the freedom to decide what they should eat, wear, read or watch. Others opine that if children have the freedom to make their own choices, they will grow up into selfish individuals. In my opinion, children should definitely have the freedom to make their own choices; however, parents should also teach them to respect the needs and wants of others. It is important for children to make their own choices. This way they can learn to be independent and grow up into strong willed adults who achieve success. What’s more, a child who knows what he wants is more likely to be successful than one who has no clear goals or ambitions. Needless to say, children who take small decisions right from their childhood are better at dealing with challenges and conflicts. However, there is an important downside to this. Children who make their own choices have increased chances of becoming selfish. For instance, my nephew always insists on watching his favourite programmes on television. He does not care whether the rest of the family likes those shows or not. He is only concerned about what he wants. In future, this attitude will impact his ability to work in a team. He may even fail in his relationships. In short, the lack of emotional intelligence is detrimental to the success and happiness of a child. In conclusion, although it is important for children to learn to make choices regarding their day to day life, parents must ensure that they are also learning to respect the decisions and choices of others. Only then can they grow up into free-willed adults who also possess empathy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the freedom to decide what they should eat, wear, read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. Others opine that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
, they will grow up into selfish individuals. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should definitely have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
;
however
, parents should
also
teach them to respect the needs and wants of others.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. This way they can learn to be independent and grow up into
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
strong willed
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
achieve success. What’s more, a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
knows what he wants is more likely to be successful than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goals or ambitions. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
decisions right from their childhood are better at dealing with challenges and conflicts.

However
, there is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
downside to this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
have increased chances of becoming selfish.
For instance
, my nephew always insists on watching his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on television. He does not care whether the rest of the family likes those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or not. He is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concerned about what he wants.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, this attitude will impact his ability to work in a team. He may even fail in his relationships. In short, the lack of emotional intelligence is detrimental to the success and happiness of a child.

In conclusion
, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
regarding their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that they are
also
learning to respect the decisions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
of others.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
then can they grow up into free-willed adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
also
possess empathy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Task 1: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you parepare and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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