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Question: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v.1

Question: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 1
Some would argue that children should join tuition as early as possible, while others believe that they should not receive any formal education unless they reach the age of seven. While children could graduate faster and start earning money at an early age if they start schooling at their young age, I believe that they can only fully understand the lesson that is being taught at tuition after the age of seven because of their better mental capacity. On the one hand, youngsters can graduate faster and start to earn money if they get a chance of receiving formal education at an early age. This is to say that academic qualifications enable graduates to get employed immediately and make them financially capable. For example, a recent study conducted by the BBC News revealed that the average age of university freshmen in the UK has declined to 21 years, which was 24 years a decade ago because parents, nowadays, are sending their children to school as soon as they turn 3 years old in order to allow them to graduate as soon as possible for their financially bright future. However, I believe this trend negatively affects the children's professional career because they cannot grab all the knowledge given in teaching institutions at an early age. On the other hand, children can only properly comprehend all the lessons demonstrated in the schools because of their broad cognitive capabilities when they are approximately 7 years old. This means a very young child cannot grab the meaning and complexity of what is being taught so they force themselves to memorise rather than to understand, so they fail in future competitions, while pupils above the age of 7 practise the proper learning style which helps them to succeed in their career. For instance, research suggested that 70% of successful professionals who hold the highest positions in big companies were schooled at the age of 6 and 7. Therefore, I think allowing children to start studying after the age of 7 is best for them because they can properly understand the information. In conclusion, although children could start earning money early by graduating faster when they are allowed to join tuition as young as possible, I believe that they should only receive formal education after they reach 7 years old in order to make them cognitively ready to fully comprehend the lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
tuition as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
as possible, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they should not receive any formal education unless they reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
faster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
earning money at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
schooling at their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fully
understand the lesson
that is
being taught
at tuition after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their better mental capacity.

On the one hand, youngsters can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
faster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to earn money if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance of receiving formal education at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This is to say that academic qualifications enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed immediately and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
financially
capable.
For example
, a recent study conducted by the BBC News revealed that the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of university freshmen in the UK has declined to 21 years, which was 24 years a decade ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents, nowadays, are sending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to school as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they turn 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible for their
financially
bright future.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this trend
negatively
affects the children's professional career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot grab all the knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in teaching institutions at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
properly
comprehend all the lessons demonstrated in the schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their broad cognitive capabilities when they are approximately 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This means a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young child cannot grab the meaning and complexity of what is
being taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they force themselves to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
rather
than to understand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they fail in future competitions, while pupils above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
the proper learning style which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to succeed in their career.
For instance
, research suggested that 70% of successful professionals who hold the highest positions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
were schooled
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 6 and 7.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
studying after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7 is best for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
properly
understand the information.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
earning money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
by graduating faster when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
tuition as young as possible, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receive formal education after they reach 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
cognitively
ready to
fully
comprehend the lesson.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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