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If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v.2

If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 2
Presently, with the advancements in the modern technology people are showing interest to work even on holidays. So, certain people opine that technology plays a major role in making their lives more tedious. Indeed, the best way to counter these problems to experience their lives by completely eliminating it. I agree with this viewpoint and suggest my opinion. Firstly, the computer plays a major role in every person's life, while most of them cannot imagine their lives without it. These devices help them to complete their work easily, but they are causing a lot of damage to their personal lives. A research stated 90% of the people, who were working as software professionals, got divorced because they were not good at managing their social life. Secondly, mobile phones were another devices that cause a huge damage to the public health. Besides, these devices are considered as the most addictive tools in the modern day gadgets. For instance, the majority of the work in the 20th century had completed by using the mobile phones. On the other hand, with the improvements in technology people were able to finish their task within the deadline, but they were not able to improve social communication in society. Though these people earn a plenty of money and stature in their life, but they were not willing to establish new connections in society and to work for the welfare of the surroundings. In conclusion, technology had helped a lot in improving public lives, but people started focusing only on earning money and other activities. In addition, the public should start working for the welfare of society and establish a good relationship with their neighbours.
Presently
, with the advancements in the modern
technology
people
are showing interest to
work
even on holidays.
So
, certain
people
opine that
technology
plays a major role in making their
lives
more tedious.
Indeed
, the best way to counter these problems to experience their
lives
by completely eliminating it. I
agree
with this viewpoint and suggest my opinion.

Firstly
, the computer plays a major role in every person's life, while most of them cannot imagine their
lives
without it. These devices
help
them to complete their
work
easily
,
but
they are causing
a lot of
damage to their personal
lives
.
A research
stated 90% of the
people
, who were working as software professionals,
got
divorced
because
they were not
good
at managing their social life.
Secondly
, mobile phones were another devices that cause
a huge damage
to the public health.
Besides
, these devices
are considered
as the most addictive tools in the modern day gadgets.
For instance
, the majority of the
work
in the 20th century had completed by using the mobile phones.

On the other hand
, with the improvements in
technology
people
were able to finish their task within the deadline,
but
they were not able to
improve
social communication in society. Though these
people
earn a
plenty
of money and stature in their life,
but
they were not willing to establish new connections in society and to
work
for the welfare of the surroundings.

In conclusion
,
technology
had
helped
a lot in improving public
lives
,
but
people
started
focusing
only
on earning money and other activities.
In addition
, the public should
start
working for the welfare of society and establish a
good
relationship with their
neighbours
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay If a friend from another country visited your home, what food would you prepare? Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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