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23. 10. 2017 You have a pen-friend living in another country and he/she is curious to learn about the major news items in your country. Write a letter to your pen-friend. In your letter: • Greet your friend and say why you are writing. • Briefly describe a v.1

23. 10. 2017 You have a pen-friend living in another country and he/she is curious to learn about the major news items in your country. Write a letter to your pen-friend. In your letter: • Greet your friend and say why you are writing. • Briefly describe a v. 1
Multinational organisations are progressing at a rapid pace on a day-to-day basis. The constant expansion of these firms and global interaction amongst them has deemed to be beneficial to everyone. This essay will support the argument as to why this phenomena has been a boon to the world. Firms having their footprints across countries are the most profitable in nature. These organisations help the economy rise and create employment opportunities for the masses. Monetary help towards making the country better is key for all nations. In addition to that, as these firms grow exponentially they also create jobs which help the overall countries unemployment ratio. For example, Jubilant Foods was solely responsible for 3% of the overall rise in the economy in the USA for the year 2016. Another example is that it helped create 132, 000 jobs for a certain demographic that year. However, it's not just that the multinational companies benefit alone in isolation, its a chained effect helping the country as well. Furthermore, the globalisation amongst these multinational institutions has led to solving a lot of demand problems and a cultural fusion. If a country lacks a certain supply, these firms due to their knowledge and connect help meet these demands. In addition that, different countries are exposed to different cultures due to globalisation. For example, as 85% of the UAE is a desert, organic growth of vegetables isn't possible because of which Indian companies ensure export of these veggies in order to meet the demand. Moreover, many of the American cousins have seen the light of day in India allowing Indian's to be aware of American culture. Globalisation has resulted in a lot of growth in totality. In a nutshell, the aforementioned paragraphs agrees to the positive consequences that Multinational companies and globalisation has bought into their respective countries and so on. As in complete agreement, the expansion of organisations can only help bolster the value of the nation exponentially.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are progressing at a rapid pace on a day-to-day basis. The constant expansion of these firms and global interaction amongst them has deemed to be beneficial to everyone. This essay will support the argument as to why
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena has been a boon to the world.

Firms having their footprints across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are the most profitable in nature. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the economy rise and create employment opportunities for the masses. Monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
towards making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
better is key for all nations.
In addition
to that, as these firms grow
exponentially
they
also
create jobs which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
overall
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
unemployment ratio.
For example
, Jubilant Foods was
solely
responsible for 3% of the
overall
rise in the economy in the USA for the year 2016. Another example is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
create 132, 000 jobs for a certain demographic that year.
However
, it's not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
benefit alone in isolation,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a chained effect helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
.

Furthermore
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
amongst these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
institutions has led to solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
demand problems and a cultural fusion. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
lacks a certain supply, these firms due to their knowledge and connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these demands. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
For example
, as 85% of the UAE is a desert, organic growth of vegetables isn't possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
ensure export of these veggies in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the American cousins have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the light of day in India allowing Indian's to be aware of American culture.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
growth in totality.

In a nutshell, the aforementioned paragraphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
into their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As in complete agreement, the expansion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
bolster the value of the nation
exponentially
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay 23. 10. 2017 You have a pen-friend living in another country and he/she is curious to learn about the major news items in your country. Write a letter to your pen-friend. In your letter: • Greet your friend and say why you are writing. • Briefly describe a v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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