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As most pple spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is important element of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction. How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers. v.1

As most pple spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is important element of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction. How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers. v. 1
It is a common belief by some people that celebrities, such as movie stars, singers, and athletes, are paid good money. However, it is not a fiction, but an unfortunate truth, and I agree entirely with this statement. In modern society, entertainment is valued the most, and in my opinion, there are more noble professions, which are indeed vital for the existence of human beings, and should be valued as well. Since the advent of electronic and social media, entertainment has taken over the entire mass communication industry. Indeed, the entertainers are highly paid, which can be easily reflected from their luxurious lifestyle, including fashion, and living expenses. They tend to receive such a vast amount of money either from the act they perform or from the brand, which they are promoting. According to the recent news, the famous singer Shakira received 1 million dollars for signing a concert. However, their jobs are not that crucial, since there will not be any risk to the existence of the world if they don’t perform. On the other hand, there are quite a few noble professions which are underpaid. For instance, the vital profession, such as a scientist. In fact, it is the truth that the work carried out by the academic industry is boring, and owing to this, it is often neglected by society. I believe, scientists or researchers should receive the same weight as of entertainers, since they play the most important role in the transformation of the world, or in creating the facilities, which are being enjoyed by the people. The increase in wages or benefits will also trigger youth to follow them or to opt for their profession. In conclusion, it is true that actors, singers, and athletes are paid handsomely these days. However, the vital professions are being neglected in terms of money. Therefore, I believe that noble profession, such as a scientist should be valued more, and this will attract more people to follow these vital careers.
It is a common belief by
some
people
that celebrities, such as movie stars, singers, and athletes,
are paid
good
money.
However
, it is not a fiction,
but
an unfortunate truth, and I
agree
entirely
with this statement. In modern society, entertainment
is valued
the most, and in my opinion, there are more noble
professions
, which are
indeed
vital
for the existence of human beings, and should
be valued
as well
.

Since the advent of electronic and social media, entertainment has taken over the entire mass communication industry.
Indeed
, the entertainers are
highly
paid, which can be
easily
reflected from their luxurious lifestyle, including fashion, and living expenses. They tend to receive such a vast amount of money either from the act they perform or from the brand, which they are promoting. According to the recent news, the
famous
singer Shakira received 1 million dollars for signing a concert.
However
, their jobs are not that crucial, since there will not be any
risk
to the existence of the world if they don’t perform.

On the other hand
, there are quite a few noble
professions
which are underpaid.
For instance
, the
vital
profession
, such as a scientist. In fact, it is the truth that the work carried out by the academic industry is boring, and owing to this, it is
often
neglected by society. I believe, scientists or researchers should receive the same weight as of entertainers, since they play the most
important
role in the transformation of the world, or in creating the facilities, which are
being enjoyed
by the
people
. The increase in wages or benefits will
also
trigger youth to follow them or to opt for their profession.

In conclusion
, it is true that actors, singers, and athletes
are paid
handsomely
these days.
However
, the
vital
professions
are
being neglected
in terms of money.
Therefore
, I believe that noble
profession
, such as a scientist should
be valued
more, and this will attract more
people
to follow these
vital
careers.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As most pple spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is important element of individual well being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction. How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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