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Target MarketingAdvertisers in the past have used radio and television in an attempt to provide information about their products to large, general audiences; it was once thought that the best way to sell a product was to advertise it to as many people as v.1

Target MarketingAdvertisers in the past have used radio and television in an attempt to provide information about their products to large, general audiences; it was once thought that the best way to sell a product was to advertise it to as many people as v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that nowadays the science and technology develops to the peak point. In some countries, people want to study in science field in universities, but due to some reasons, they don’t approach it. In this essay, I intend to discuss what are the causes and impact of the development before the reasonable conclusion can be drawn. There are several logics why student don’t able to study a sci-fi course in colleges. Firstly, the marking system in the school grade system is the major problem. Most of the colleges and university allow to get admission in science, if the youngster has higher grades in schools. There is no doubt the other students have a more creative mind and productive as compared to higher marks person. Therefore, that’s the main reason folks do not take science subject. In addition, every country almost entered in the race of technological development, such as space, biological and so on. Because of this, the demand of scientists among every country is very high, because of lack of science student's development is stuck at some point. For an example, NASA tries to make a space shuttle which will do mining in the space. Moreover, According to the NASA, there are tons of metal are buried in the asteroids which will fulfil the demand of titanium in the earth and also produce electricity. To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that every nation have to encourage their teenager to show their skills in scientific field, instead of selecting students by their grades.
It is an irrefutable fact that nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology develops to the peak point. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field in universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, they don’t approach it. In this essay, I intend to discuss what are the causes and impact of the development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the reasonable conclusion can
be drawn
.

There are several logics why student don’t able to study a sci-fi course in colleges.
Firstly
, the marking system in the school grade system is the major problem. Most of the colleges and university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, if the youngster has higher grades in schools. There is no doubt the other students have a more creative mind and productive as compared to higher marks person.
Therefore
, that’s the main reason folks do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
subject.

In addition
, every country almost
There isn't usually a preposition after "entered". Did you mean "entered the race"?
entered in the race
of technological development, such as space, biological and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Because of this
, the demand of scientists among every country is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
student's development
is stuck
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point. For an example, NASA tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a space shuttle which will
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go mining".
do mining
in the space.
Moreover
, According to the NASA, there are tons of metal
are buried
in the asteroids which will fulfil the demand of titanium in the earth and
also
produce electricity.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down and say that every nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encourage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in scientific field,
instead
of selecting students by their grades.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Target MarketingAdvertisers in the past have used radio and television in an attempt to provide information about their products to large, general audiences; it was once thought that the best way to sell a product was to advertise it to as many people as v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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