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Question: Some people think that educational programs are best understood when listened to on the radio while others think that it's better to watch these programs on In your opinion, which is the best way to learn from the program, television or radio? U v.2

Question: Some people think that educational programs are best understood when listened to on the radio while others think that it's better to watch these programs on In your opinion, which is the best way to learn from the program, television or radio? U v. 2
It is general believed that when information comes with visual image or video the brain can perceive fast and better the information. In other hand the radio may increase the imagination. In my opinion educational programs are more attractive and productive when they are showed on Tv. I think that for the reason below. First, the educational programs on TV are better than listened to on radio inasmuch as the information on Tv is easy understood. The Tv help to present the information illustration with images, videos and music that are put easy deep on brain. For instance one year ago, my university organized the third conference in accounting. The first recall for paper was announced on the radio, but I do not pay attention on it. Meanwhile after one day I saw the same recall on tv and the images and video about the topic of the conference was slight easy for me and I decide to go and being part of this educational program. Second, the images, the videos and the different diagrams used to transmit the message of the educational programs are more attractive and make the information more reliable. For example, parents are understanding better the problems causing by mobile phone to their children when they see videos and real fact on tv. In other hand this educational program on radio is not understood. Additional, the aim of the program to prevent the children by using the mobiles phone is not completed because of the wrong way to transmit it. In conclusion the aim and the information of the educational programs are easy perceive when they appear on television. Hence in my opinion the radio is less attractive and do not transmit the aim of the programs.
It is general believed that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
the brain can perceive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and better the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In other hand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
may increase the imagination. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are more attractive and productive when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that for the reason below.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on TV are better than listened to on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
inasmuch as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
understood. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
illustration with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and music that
are put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
deep on brain.
For instance
one year ago, my university organized the third conference in accounting. The
first
recall for paper
was announced
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not pay attention on it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
after one day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the same recall on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
about the topic of the conference was slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
for me and I decide to go and being part of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
program.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
images
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diagrams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to transmit the message of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are more attractive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
more reliable.
For example
, parents
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are understanding
better the problems causing by mobile phone to their children when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and real fact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
. In other hand this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is not understood. Additional, the aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the children by using the mobiles phone is not completed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to transmit it.

In conclusion
the aim and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
perceive when they appear on television.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
in my opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is less attractive and do not transmit the aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some people think that educational programs are best understood when listened to on the radio while others think that it's better to watch these programs on In your opinion, which is the best way to learn from the program, television or radio? U v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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