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Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary. Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. Discuss both views and give your opini v.2

Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary. Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. 2
It is a controversial issue whether that which is the most important way to do physical activities to watch sports on television or alternative methods will an appropriate attracting people towards exercising. I will discuss both arguments before giving my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with, there are many people who think that live telecast of games encourages the masses exertion every day. To explain it, there is a wide range of sports shows broadcast on TV so when people are being watched, it then it creates curiosity among the audience to participate in physical recreations so that they can stay hale and hearty and become well renowned personalities. Owing to it, they do warm-up their body every day. To add more, a majority of the persons are role models who are performing in games by inspiring from them the masses adopt their strategies in their own lives. On the other hand, there is an alternative method, which will helpful to motivate people. The predominant one is that in the contemporary era, most of the schools have included physical periods for the pupils so that they can do exercises on a regular basis. Moreover, parents and teachers should teach their children pertaining to what are the benefits of exertion and why should the individuals do physical activities, which the channelizing the energy of the folks in a correct way rather than watching games. In conclusion, it is clear that other ways would be more useful to motivate the individuals for exertion as compared to watch sports and Olympic shows on television.
It is a controversial issue whether that which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
sports on television or alternative methods will an appropriate attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards exercising. I will discuss both arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
telecast of games encourages the masses exertion every day. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, there is a wide range of sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
broadcast on TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
, it then it creates curiosity among the audience to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
recreations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can stay hale and hearty and become well renowned personalities. Owing to it, they do warm-up their body every day. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more, a majority of the persons are role models who are performing in games by inspiring from them the masses adopt their strategies in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, there is an alternative method, which will helpful to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The predominant one is that in the contemporary era, most of the schools have included
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
periods for the pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can do exercises on a regular basis.
Moreover
, parents and teachers should teach their children pertaining to what are the benefits of exertion and why should the individuals do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities, which the channelizing the energy of the folks
Consider replacing "in a correct way" with the adverb for "correct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a correct way
rather
than watching games.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that other ways would be more useful to motivate the individuals for exertion as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
sports and Olympic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on television.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government should provide education for free on all levels: primary, secondary and tertiary. Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own tertiary education. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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