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The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v.1

The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v. 1
The use of technology in the classroom is blossoming at a staggering rate. I believe it to be extremely beneficial not only because of time-saving and it expedites the learning process but also brings benefits for students who are weak in their studies. This essay will explore how these factors make this development a positive one. Firstly, one of the major advantages of this development is that audiovisual aids help to get a better understanding of the lecture. As mentors explain the topic with the help of pictures and videos, it has become easier for pupils to memories it through their imagination. Take an example of China, where the majority of the students prefer technological aids since it is easy to absorb the lecture through them. Thus, this benefit can almost single-handedly make this development a positive one. Secondly, another major benefit linked with this development is that it saves plenty of time for the instructor. As much time is required to transfer every single piece of information to the board, so this time could be saved for teacher-student interaction by using prepared slides. For instance, the PowerPoint Presentation techniques allow access to data at any time that can be used in the classroom for notes preparation. Hence, technology gives room for two way interaction by saving time. Finally, now it is possible to take weaker students at the same pace as intelligent students. As there are some students who find it hard to understand the topic delivered by the teacher, so with various technological gadgets, it has become easier for them to have a concept of the lesson in the mind. To sum up, I believe that this development is an overall positive not only in terms of better learning and reduce time wastage on making notes but also because it helps students with difficulty in understanding.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology in the classroom is blossoming at a staggering rate. I believe it to be
extremely
beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of time-saving and it expedites the learning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brings benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are weak in their studies. This essay will explore how these factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.

Firstly
, one of the major advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is that audiovisual aids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better understanding of the lecture. As mentors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the topic with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of pictures and videos, it has become easier for pupils to memories it through their imagination. Take an example of China, where the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer technological aids since it is easy to absorb the lecture through them.
Thus
, this benefit can almost single-
handedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.

Secondly
, another major benefit linked with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is that it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the instructor. As much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is required
to transfer every single piece of information to the board,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could
be saved
for teacher-student interaction by using prepared slides.
For instance
, the PowerPoint Presentation techniques
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
access to data at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the classroom for notes preparation.
Hence
, technology gives room for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
two way
interaction by saving time.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is possible to take weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at the same pace as intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand the topic delivered by the teacher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with various technological gadgets, it has become easier for them to have a concept of the lesson in the mind.

To sum up, I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in terms of better learning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wastage on making notes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with difficulty in understanding.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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