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Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v.1

Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v. 1
Radio is a window to the world, you can listen to the news from all over the world, different global music as well as entertains yourself while you are driving a car. Music can be considered an important source for relaxation while news is a source to be updated about what is going on globally. Both are important and valuable and people differ in their preference. Music is a great way for meditation as well as entertainment. While you are driving your car or working out in the gym, you can enjoy by listening to music. Furthermore, researchers have found that relaxing music can be considered as a treatment for depression and anxiety disorders. That's why spa centers usually using music to create an appropriate calm environment for customers. However, there are so many types of music not only the relaxing one and people differ in their preference to music. Some people think such music is useless and listening to it is a waste of time. On the other hand, listening to news will keep the individuals updated about national and international situations which is of great importance. However, most of the news is sad, most of the times it is about crimes and killing people. I believe listening to such news frequently can result in depression, which is a major disadvantage. Although, news is not limited to crimes, you can know about economic status as well. In conclusion, listening to both music and news has bright side and drawbacks. One can listen to both of them to get the advantages of both. In my opinion, listening to music is more healthy, so I keep listening to it frequently while to the news occasionally.
Radio is a window to the world, you can listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as well
as entertains yourself while you are driving a car.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
be considered
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source for relaxation while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is a source to
be updated
about what is going on globally. Both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differ in their preference.

Music is a great way for meditation
as well
as entertainment. While you are driving your car or working out in the gym, you can enjoy by listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Furthermore
, researchers have found that relaxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
be considered
as a treatment for depression and anxiety disorders. That's why spa centers
usually
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to create an appropriate calm environment for customers.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the relaxing one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differ in their preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is useless and listening to it is a waste of time.

On the other hand
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the individuals updated about national and international situations which is of great importance.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is sad,
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
it is about crimes and killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I believe listening to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
frequently
can result in depression, which is a major disadvantage. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is not limited to crimes, you can know about economic status
as well
.

In conclusion
, listening to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has bright side and drawbacks. One can listen to both of them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the advantages of both. In my opinion, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more healthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
listening to it
frequently
while to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
occasionally
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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