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Talk about your favorite free time activity. You should say: - when you first started it- how often you do it- whether you would like to do it on your own or with others- and explain what you like about it. v.1

Talk about your favorite free time activity. You should say: - when you first started it- how often you do it- whether you would like to do it on your own or with others- and explain what you like about it. v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that modern life and hectic lifestyle impose people to prefer eating out. So, in these days a large number of individuals tend to consume far too much ready meals rather than home- cooked foods. However, this trend has own advantages, namely saving time and convenience, it accompanies various problems. On the one hand, the various benefits of ready- meals encourage most of people to choose them as a main part of their nourishment. Chiefly, fast food prepares quickly, which lead to expending less time and serve easily. For instance, in most families, parents work and they are snowed under, therefore getting sufficient hours to cook occurs rarely. Eventually, ready-made foods are likely to become a better option for them. Not only, it prevents to spare time and energy, but also this trend would be enjoyable and convenient, all of which are advantages. On the other hand, in addition to mentioned benefits, eating out has its own problems and adverse effects on long-term health. There is no doubt that processed food contains a huge amount of additives, artificial flavors and oil to make them delicious and taste better, puts people’s lives in danger. Interestingly, children are main consumer of this type of cooking. For the purpose of that, a huge number of are suffering from abundant diseases, namely obesity, sleep disturbance, depression and so on. Whereas, home-cooked food with fresh produces coordinate their physical and mental growth. Consequently, enjoying ready meals is risky. It might be better eaten in some occasions or in necessary situations. In short, the attitude of ordering ready meals has been gone up nowadays in may societies. As I mentioned above, eating out’s detriments are more than its profits for people. In my view, buying the ingredients and preparing cuisine at home will, in turn, the best way to guarantee our family’s well-being with healthy and gourmet meals.
It is an undeniable fact that modern life and hectic lifestyle impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to prefer eating out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in these days
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
individuals tend to consume far too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
rather
than home- cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
However
, this trend has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages,
namely
saving time and convenience, it accompanies various problems.

On the one hand, the various benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
encourage most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose them as a main part of their nourishment.
Chiefly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prepares
quickly
, which lead to expending less time and serve
easily
.
For instance
, in most families, parents
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they
are snowed
under,
therefore
getting sufficient hours to cook occurs rarely.
Eventually
, ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are likely to become a better option for them. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
to spare time and energy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
this trend would be enjoyable and convenient, all of which are advantages.

On the other hand
,
in addition
to mentioned benefits, eating out has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems and adverse effects on long-term health. There is no doubt that processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains a huge amount of additives, artificial flavors and oil to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them delicious and taste better, puts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Interestingly
, children are main consumer of this type of cooking. For the purpose of that, a huge number of are suffering from abundant diseases,
namely
obesity, sleep disturbance, depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Whereas, home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with fresh produces coordinate their physical and mental growth.
Consequently
, enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is risky. It might be better eaten in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasions or in necessary situations.

In short, the attitude of ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
has
been gone
up nowadays in
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
societies. As I mentioned above, eating out’s detriments are more than its profits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my view, buying the ingredients and preparing cuisine at home will, in turn, the best way to guarantee our family’s well-being with healthy and gourmet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Talk about your favorite free time activity. You should say: - when you first started it- how often you do it- whether you would like to do it on your own or with others- and explain what you like about it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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