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Talk about an activity that you would like to do with older people. Please say- What would you like to do? - When and where would you do it? - How often would you do it? v.1

Talk about an activity that you would like to do with older people. Please say- What would you like to do? - When and where would you do it? - How often would you do it? v. 1
The business market has grown like never before comprising of manufacturers, suppliers and vendors in huge masses. In such a scenario, some people believe that in today's tough competition, the organizations must have distinctive products for establishing their mark. This essay completely disagrees with the statement and explains why selling unique items is not the only way to be successful and suggests two ways of running organisations with good profits. To survive in a competitive market, it is required that the demand of the product is taken into consideration. To elaborate, if any item is mostly consumed by the general public over and over, it will naturally increase demand of a product. Eatables, for instance, are highly consumed, therefore, the business related to food can run profits, even if it is not different from what others are selling. Clearly, it shows that demand can also be a factor for organizations to run successfully. Another contributor to sustain in a competition is by maintaining the quality standards. If a company sells high quality items, consumers will undoubtedly return back due to product satisfaction. Amul organization, for example, is known for the best milk diary, hence, this business has managed to take off with huge gains and maintain since past 30 years. This proves that the quality supersedes uniqueness. To sum up, Eventough creative and unique goods are welcomed in a market, it is not the only way to succeed. Addressing the people's needs and managing standards are also ways to keep the companies growing.
The business market has grown like never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Did you mean "comprising" or "consisting of"?
comprising of
manufacturers, suppliers and vendors in huge masses. In such a scenario,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's tough competition, the organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for establishing their mark. This essay completely disagrees with the statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why selling unique items is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to be successful and suggests two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of running
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
profits.

To survive in a competitive market, it
is required
that the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is taken
into consideration. To elaborate, if any item is
mostly
consumed by the
Consider using "public".
general public
over and over, it will
naturally
increase demand of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Eatables,
for instance
, are
highly
consumed,
therefore
, the business related to food can run profits, even if it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what others are selling.
Clearly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that demand can
also
be a factor for organizations to run
successfully
.

Another contributor to sustain in a competition is by maintaining the quality standards. If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
sells high quality items, consumers will
undoubtedly
Consider using "return".
return back
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
satisfaction.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amul
organization,
for example
,
is known
for the best milk diary,
hence
, this business has managed to take off with huge gains and maintain since past 30 years. This proves that the quality supersedes uniqueness.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventough
creative and unique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are welcomed
in a market, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to succeed. Addressing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs and managing standards are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
growing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about an activity that you would like to do with older people. Please say- What would you like to do? - When and where would you do it? - How often would you do it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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