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Talk about your best freind, and why he/she is your best friend. Include details and examples to support your answer. v.1

Talk about your best freind, and why he/she is your best friend. Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In these days, it is said that the availability and accessibility of news and information have been increased because of internet facilities. In my opinion, I completely agree that it is a blessing for the economy, the students and the general public. The First and foremost reason why access to information through the net is that it helps to expand business out of the national boundary. Through the internet, people get to know about the trade barriers, political and legal environment, which facilitate them to decide on the expansion of their trade. For example, by knowing about crime in South Africa many traders are now reluctant to set up their establishment and thereby reducing their business risk. Therefore, healthy and right business decisions make companies profitable as well as flourish the economy. Secondly, through the internet students get an opportunity to learn more which produces better grades in their career. Moreover, nowadays, pupils can teach from online resources, which reduces the cost of purchasing the book also. For instance, the “Good Read” website offers free reading books, whereas many people cannot buy those books. Thus, through accessing books, students along with many people gather knowledge, which is indispensable to stay updated. Finally, the internet makes the world a global village in which people live like a family. Different types of news help people to cope up as per contemporary fads. For instance, hiding information about the faulty Samsung 9 model on the internet makes people alert not to buy that. As a result, globally all individuals are benefiting from internet information. In conclusion, the accessibility of information is certainly a good thing as it helps our society and economy tremendously.
In these days, it
is said
that the availability and accessibility of news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have
been increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of internet facilities. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a blessing for the economy, the students and the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

The
First
and foremost reason why access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the net is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to expand business out of the national boundary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Through
the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the trade barriers, political and legal environment, which facilitate them to decide on the expansion of their trade.
For example
, by knowing about crime in South Africa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traders are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
reluctant to set up their establishment and thereby reducing their business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Therefore
, healthy and right business decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
profitable
as well
as flourish the economy.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the internet students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to learn more which produces better grades in their career.
Moreover
, nowadays, pupils can teach from online resources, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the cost of purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
also
.
For instance
, the “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
Read” website offers free reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, students along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gather knowledge, which is indispensable to stay updated.

Finally
, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the world a global village in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like a family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
types of news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cope up as per contemporary fads.
For instance
, hiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the faulty Samsung 9 model on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alert not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that.
As a result
, globally all individuals are benefiting from internet information.

In conclusion
, the accessibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
certainly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
our society and economy
tremendously
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about your best freind, and why he/she is your best friend. Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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