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TPO 19 - Question 3Fee Increase for Recreation Center UseThe university administration today announced a $25 increase in the student fee for using the campus recreation center. The higher fee, which all students are required to pay, will provide funds to v.1

TPO 19 - Question 3Fee Increase for Recreation Center UseThe university administration today announced a $25 increase in the student fee for using the campus recreation center. The higher fee, which all students are required to pay, will provide funds to v. 1
Financial management skill has become increasingly popular in many nations. It is thought by some people that secondary school learners should learn how to manage cash because it is a vital ability in life. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, because this will make them accountable adult as well as have a financially stable future. Firstly, high school teachers ought to lecture students on management of finances as it is essential for the future because this will develop them into responsible humans. In other words, imbibing the culture of wise spending to youngsters will reform and build a mindset that can learn to handle and spend funds judiciously, due to the fact that they have been taught to expend cash wisely. For instance, it was reported in 2018 that 50% of secondary schools in Nigeria introduced accounting courses to their curriculum, which had a great positive impact on the money spent on junks during their break period. Thus, teaching undergraduates funds control develops them into accountable people. Furthermore, this set skill helps them have a financially balanced lifestyle, This is because as they grow, they are able to differentiate between taking financial risk and running into debts, that is, they will have a wide knowledge of spendings and budgeting, which is usually a challenge for many adults. For example, recently, many high school graduates in Lagos state were able to fund their graduation ceremonies because of their saving culture during school, As a result, this has a huge impact on their spendings as they grow and are faced with various cash challenges. In conclusion, I agree that middle educational institution scholars should be taught cash control as it is essential for the future. This is because this will assist them to become successful and have a stable monetary life.
Financial management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
has become
increasingly
popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learners should learn how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a vital ability in life. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them accountable adult
as well
as have a
financially
stable future.

Firstly
, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers ought to lecture students on management of finances as it is essential for the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will develop them into responsible humans.
In other words
, imbibing the culture of wise spending to youngsters will reform and build a mindset that can learn to handle and spend funds
judiciously
, due to the fact that they have
been taught
to expend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
wisely
.
For instance
, it
was reported
in 2018 that 50% of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Nigeria introduced accounting courses to their curriculum, which had a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the money spent on junks during their break period.
Thus
, teaching undergraduates funds control develops them into accountable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, this set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them have a
financially
balanced lifestyle, This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as they grow, they are able to differentiate between taking financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and running into debts,
that is
, they will have a wide knowledge of
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
and budgeting, which is
usually
a challenge for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults.
For example
, recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates in Lagos state were able to fund their graduation ceremonies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their saving culture during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
As a result
, this has a huge impact on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
as they grow and
are faced
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
challenges.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that middle educational institution scholars should
be taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
control as it is essential for the future. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will assist them to become successful and have a stable monetary life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay TPO 19 - Question 3Fee Increase for Recreation Center UseThe university administration today announced a $25 increase in the student fee for using the campus recreation center. The higher fee, which all students are required to pay, will provide funds to v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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