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Talk about something that was made with your own hands for your friend or relative. Please say- What was it? - How did you make it? - What was the response when he/she received it? v.1

Talk about something that was made with your own hands for your friend or relative. Please say- What was it? - How did you make it? - What was the response when he/she received it? v. 1
In the era of automated systems and robotics, it is evident that many manual jobs disappeared from the work market. In this case, the idea of reducing working hours has prompted in the society. This essay will explain the pros and cons of bringing the working hours down in the details and give evidence as to why this initiative does not have a positive effect on society. To begin, bringing down the working hours is a key to the people's freedom because they are exempted of the duties and responsibilities they have when they sign a contract. Therefore, if, for instance, the working days were reduced to two days a week, it would give to people a huge amount of time, which they could use for their personal affairs, learning, leisure or creativity. However, the advantages, which were listed may lead to negative ramifications, which will be explained in the further paragraph. In contrast, a simple glare at poorer countries may reveal and stand as an example of the negative effect on the economy. The lack of people's engagement in the working process of those countries strongly bringing down the economy because today everything is inextricably linked to international trading that, in its turn, can bring, into the budgets of countries, money and consequently prosperity. Moreover, plenty of free time gives to people room of consideration, then it can cause a civil war because people might start either realise the level of poverty or be discontent how their local authorities to work. To conclude, it is no doubt true that less working hours introduced in the society may have a positive impact on the people such as shaping a creative set of mind in an individual or it can give more time to rest. However, in my opinion, it can cause serious consequences such as anarchy because governments lose control of them.
In the era of automated systems and robotics, it is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manual jobs disappeared from the work market.
In this case
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has prompted in the society. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the pros and cons of bringing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
down in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
evidence as to why this initiative does not have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, bringing down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is a key to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are exempted
of the duties and responsibilities they have when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
a contract.
Therefore
, if,
for instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to two days a week, it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a huge amount of time, which they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for their personal affairs, learning, leisure or creativity.
However
, the advantages, which
were listed
may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ramifications, which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the
further
paragraph.

In contrast
, a simple glare at poorer countries may reveal and stand as an example of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the economy. The lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's engagement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
process of those countries
strongly
bringing down the economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
everything is
inextricably
linked to international trading that, in its turn, can bring, into the budgets of countries, money and
consequently
prosperity.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
room of consideration, then it can cause a civil war
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
either
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the level of poverty or be discontent how their local authorities to work.

To conclude
, it is no doubt true that less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
introduced in the society may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as shaping a creative set of mind in an individual or it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more time to rest.
However
, in my opinion, it can cause serious consequences such as anarchy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
lose control of them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about something that was made with your own hands for your friend or relative. Please say- What was it? - How did you make it? - What was the response when he/she received it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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