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Talk about a specific time when you did something obsessively. For example, didyou “go to extremes” playing video games, worrying about an exam, or practicing asport or music? What did you do? What were the good and bad results? Explain. v.2

Talk about a specific time when you did something obsessively. For example, didyou “go to extremes” playing video games, worrying about an exam, or practicing asport or music? What did you do? What were the good and bad results? Explain. v. 2
This is true that technology plays an important role in our lives. However, some people think that our social relationships are damaged with the advent of technology. I completely agree that this trend needs, limitations to overcome its effects. To begin with, the use of modern gadgets, is crucial in the progression of our daily lives. This is because businesses rely on the technology, and discouraging its use will ultimately affect their revenue. For instance, it is believed that Facebook has at least one million employees worldwide, and if we stop using such a platform, this would lead to joblessness. Another potential use of social platforms is to establish contact with friends or families living abroad, which reduces the risk of isolation. Nevertheless, the risk associated with the evolution in the technology made us apart from the people in the close proximity. To illustrate, research has shown that the pattern has changed in recent years, as people communicate with strangers globally, rather than interacting with neighbours living next-door. Consequently, youngsters are more vulnerable to such changes and will have a long-term impact. For instance, using smartphones for a long time would lead to addiction, and this will undermine their interpersonal skills and makes them underperform both academically and socially. In conclusion, although the benefits associated with the improvement in communication such as financial growth and reducing homesickness are remarkable, I would argue that the drawbacks outweigh such benefits because of teenagers exploitation and damaging close relationships.
This is true that
technology
plays an
important
role in our
lives
.
However
,
some
people
think
that our social relationships
are damaged
with the advent of
technology
. I completely
agree
that this trend needs, limitations to overcome its effects.

To
begin
with, the
use
of modern gadgets, is crucial in the progression of our daily
lives
. This is
because
businesses rely on the
technology
, and discouraging its
use
will
ultimately
affect their revenue.
For instance
, it
is believed
that Facebook has at least one million employees worldwide, and if we
stop
using such a platform, this would lead to joblessness. Another potential
use
of social platforms is to establish contact with friends or families living abroad, which
reduces
the
risk
of isolation.

Nevertheless
, the
risk
associated with the evolution in the
technology
made us apart from the
people
in the
close proximity
. To illustrate, research has shown that the pattern has
changed
in recent years, as
people
communicate with strangers globally,
rather
than interacting with
neighbours
living
next
-door.
Consequently
, youngsters are more vulnerable to such
changes
and will have a long-term impact.
For instance
, using smartphones for a long time would lead to addiction, and this will undermine their interpersonal
skills
and
makes
them underperform both
academically
and
socially
.

In conclusion
, although the benefits associated with the improvement in communication such as financial growth and reducing homesickness are remarkable, I would argue that the drawbacks outweigh such benefits
because
of
teenagers
exploitation and damaging close relationships.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a specific time when you did something obsessively. For example, didyou “go to extremes” playing video games, worrying about an exam, or practicing asport or music? What did you do? What were the good and bad results? Explain. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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