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Many people believe that exploiting animals by humans unethical. However, another group of people think that to satisfy needs such as food & research is acceptableDiscuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Many people believe that exploiting animals by humans unethical. However, another group of people think that to satisfy needs such as food & research is acceptable 1
Nowadays, the social issues which involve young people are increasing as most of the guardians are consuming their life for office jobs than for their offspring. In my opinion children are becoming antisocial, because of the lack of their parental care. Currently, parents are working. The love and care are necessary for children in their growing age. It will affect their physical growth and moral as well. Insufficient attention towards It makes them rude and cruel. Parents should give proper guidance to their children until maturity. It helps to build a good behaviour in children. The decrease in behavioural guidance will lead the young people to antisocial activities. The children feel frustrated and they are expressing it through anger or harsh attitude to others. At the same point, they are trying to show their independence in the case of money and activities. They are misusing their freedom that has given by their parents. Children are influenced by the peer group and lack of love and parental care changes their behaviour. The peer pressure encourages the children to imitate others. For instance, alcoholism, smoking and drug usage. It will affect the character to the negligence of parents. So that they are involved in antiviral activities. Lack of control and guidance of parents and other elders play an important role in the development of behaviour. Criminal background of young people is the other reason for illegal activities. Al though, parents are caring their children, however, they have many duties to finish within the cut off date. To conclude, the societal problems that associating young generation is growing mainly is a result of the parents are using up their day and night with desk work than with their children.
Nowadays, the social issues which involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are increasing as most of the guardians are consuming their life for office jobs than for their offspring. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming antisocial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of their parental care.

Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their growing age. It will affect their physical growth and moral
as well
. Insufficient attention towards It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them rude and cruel.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should give proper guidance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until maturity. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The decrease in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
guidance will lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to antisocial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
frustrated and
they are expressing it through anger or harsh attitude to others. At the same point, they are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their independence in the case of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. They are misusing their freedom that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents.

Children
are influenced
by the peer group and lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and parental care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. The peer pressure encourages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to imitate others.
For instance
, alcoholism, smoking and drug usage. It will affect the character to the negligence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they
are involved
in antiviral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Lack of control and guidance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elders play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Criminal background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason for illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Al though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are caring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
however
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
duties to finish within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off date.

To conclude
, the societal problems that associating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is growing
mainly
is a result of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are using up their day and night with desk work than with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people believe that exploiting animals by humans unethical. However, another group of people think that to satisfy needs such as food & research is acceptable 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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