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You have a problem in your apartment that needs repairs. Write a Jetter to the building manager. In your letter• describe the problem. • say what you think should be done about it. • ask the building manager to visit your apartment to see the problem. v.1

You have a problem in your apartment that needs repairs. Write a Jetter to the building manager. In your letter• describe the problem. • say what you think should be done about it. • ask the building manager to visit your apartment to see the problem. v. 1
Health is one of the most important aspects of human life. It is said that in the future, the average standard of health of individuals will deteriorate. I agree with this view. I believe that people will be dealing with decreased health because of the increasing popularity of fast foods and growing amount of stress that each person is facing his/her everyday life. To begin with, consuming fast foods on a daily basis contributes seriously to the decline of an individual’s health status. This is evident even in youngsters at present. For instance, the availability of fast food chains all over the country makes it very convenient for everyone to access these foods and encourage them to consume it on a daily basis. The result is people are prone to diseases related to cardiovascular disorders because of the high salt and high sugar content found in these fast food products. In addition, stress related disorders are also becoming more common nowadays. Everyone is complaining of being subjected to stress daily. Individuals who continually experience stress in their environment are likely to develop both mental and physical disorders. For example, employees who are overworked tend to develop headaches and stomach issues. To sum up, I agree with the argument that the average health standard of an individual will decrease in the future. Whilst some are becoming aware of the health issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of fast foods and the constant exposure to stress will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of health of many people in the coming years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of human life. It
is said
that in the future, the average standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will deteriorate. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be dealing with decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and growing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
that each person is facing his/her everyday life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
on a daily basis contributes
seriously
to the decline of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status. This is evident even in youngsters at present.
For instance
, the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains all over the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for everyone to access these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and encourage them to consume it on a daily basis. The result is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are prone to diseases related to cardiovascular disorders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high salt and high sugar content found in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related disorders are
also
becoming more common nowadays. Everyone is complaining of
being subjected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
daily.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
who
continually
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in their environment are likely to develop both mental and physical disorders.
For example
, employees who
are overworked
tend to develop headaches and stomach issues.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
will decrease in the future. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are becoming aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues that are emerging at present, the growing consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and the constant exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
will likely contribute to the decline of the average standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the coming years.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have a problem in your apartment that needs repairs. Write a Jetter to the building manager. In your letter• describe the problem. • say what you think should be done about it. • ask the building manager to visit your apartment to see the problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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