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Talk about a shopping street that you would like to visit. Please say- Where is it located? - Why do you want to go there? - What is so special about it? - What do you like the most about it? v.1

Talk about a shopping street that you would like to visit. Please say- Where is it located? - Why do you want to go there? - What is so special about it? - What do you like the most about it? v. 1
In recent times, observing a gap year between high school and going to the university is becoming a common trend. Nowadays many young high school leavers prefer to work for a year before proceeding to the University. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. To begin, there are many reasons why having a year off between finishing school and going to the University is beneficial. Firstly, a major advantage is that it prepares the young people for adult life. This is because it makes them to develop a sense of responsibility for their own selves. For instance, a person who is working, and accepts a new role, has to be accountable for their actions. In addition to this, another benefit of observing a gap year after school is the fact that it creates an avenue for them to discover their hidden talents. During this period, some of the young school leavers engage in their hobbies, which can in turn showcase their talents. An example of this can be found in some football players, who found it to be their talent, through engaging in it as a leisure activity. Despite these advantages, there are also numerous disadvantages to this trend. To begin, it causes time wastage. The precious time that could have been spent doing productive activities in the University is wasted at home. To illustrate, a child that is supposed to graduate at 20 years of age, may end up graduating at 21 years. In conclusion, this essay has discussed the benefits and drawbacks involved in having a gap year between leaving high school and university.
In recent times, observing a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is becoming a common trend. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
prefer to work for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
proceeding to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off between finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is beneficial.
Firstly
, a major advantage is that it prepares the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for adult life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to develop a sense of responsibility for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selves.
For instance
, a person who is working, and accepts a new role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be accountable for their actions.
In addition
to this, another benefit of observing a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the fact that it creates an avenue for them to discover their hidden talents. During this period,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
young
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
engage in their hobbies, which can in turn showcase their talents. An example of this can
be found
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
football players, who found it to be their talent, through engaging in it as a leisure activity.

Despite these advantages, there are
also
numerous disadvantages to this trend. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it causes time wastage. The precious time that could have
been spent
doing productive activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is wasted
at home. To illustrate, a child that
is supposed
to graduate at 20 years of age, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up graduating at 21 years.

In conclusion
, this essay has discussed the benefits and drawbacks involved in having a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between leaving high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Talk about a shopping street that you would like to visit. Please say- Where is it located? - Why do you want to go there? - What is so special about it? - What do you like the most about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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