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Talk about a prize that you would like to win in your life. Please say- What is the prize that you want to win? - What do you need to do, to get it? - How would you feel if you won it? v.1

Talk about a prize that you would like to win in your life. Please say- What is the prize that you want to win? - What do you need to do, to get it? - How would you feel if you won it? v. 1
Cosmopolitan societies are thought to be more attractive to international tourists due to their diversified cultural aspects and often considered to have a strong economy which develops faster. However, as far as I am concerned, a mixture of nationalities in many countries is still problematic. Admittedly, a culturally and ethnically diverse country attracts tourists from all over the world as the amalgamation of different cultures and their tradition, food and lifestyle give birth to a truly cosmopolitan society. As a result of tourism development, the local economy grows to a certain extent. However, countries that include population from different nationalities and cultures often experience social issues which lead to civil and political unrest and hatred for each other. People from different backgrounds view thing differently and have their own opinion towards values. If not dealt with an appropriate means, it may cause ethnic conflicts. Even worse, in some countries, it divides the nation as citizens start possessing discriminatory attitudes towards minors. If such a situation prevails, the country will soon lose international tourists who might be the main driving force for their economic boost. Moreover, the heterogeneous population in a country bring their own culture and thus the country lose its heritage and century-long tradition in the process. As a result, the country can no longer proclaim itself as a unique cultural landscape. For instance, many large cities in the world these days look almost the same and have no distinctive cultural identity. To conclude, multi-cultural societies are prone to create many social problems and the government should give priority to solve such issues whenever they emerge so that it does not lead to social unrest and ambivalence situations.
Cosmopolitan societies are
thought
to be more attractive to international tourists due to their diversified cultural aspects and
often
considered to have a strong economy which develops faster.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, a mixture of nationalities in
many
countries
is
still
problematic.

Admittedly
, a
culturally
and
ethnically
diverse
country
attracts tourists from all over the world as the amalgamation of
different
cultures and their tradition, food and lifestyle give birth to a
truly
cosmopolitan society.
As a result
of tourism development, the local economy grows to a certain extent.

However
,
countries
that include population from
different
nationalities and cultures
often
experience social issues which lead to civil and political unrest and hatred for each other.
People
from
different
backgrounds view thing
differently
and have their
own
opinion towards values. If not dealt with an appropriate means, it may cause ethnic conflicts. Even worse, in
some
countries
, it divides the nation as citizens
start
possessing discriminatory attitudes towards minors. If such a situation prevails, the
country
will
soon
lose international tourists who might be the main driving force for their economic boost.

Moreover
, the heterogeneous population in a
country
bring their
own
culture and
thus
the
country
lose its heritage and century-long tradition in the process.
As a result
, the
country
can no longer proclaim itself as a unique cultural landscape.
For instance
,
many
large cities in the world these days look almost the same and have no distinctive cultural identity.

To conclude
, multi-cultural societies are prone to create
many
social problems and the
government
should give priority to solve such issues whenever they emerge
so
that it does not lead to social unrest and ambivalence situations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a prize that you would like to win in your life. Please say- What is the prize that you want to win? - What do you need to do, to get it? - How would you feel if you won it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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