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Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 6: Agree or disagree? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v.1

Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 6: Agree or disagree? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 1
The number of cars has increased noticeably from 1888 to 2000, in Britain. This has lead to a series of problems due to the impact of vehicles on the environment and to the public. So, alternative forms of transportation were encouraged and some suggested issuing international laws to control car ownership. However, will that do the trick? Automobiles cause a lot of damage, there's no denying it. The exhaust that they release pollutes the air and causes lots of health problems, not to mention the problems associated with traffic and how the city roads are jammed with cars. That's why some believe that monitoring car ownership would help lessen these problems; introducing a cleaner and healthier environment, facilitating transportation, and improving the citizens' lives through making cities quieter and more serene. As much as this sounds perfect, one would disagree with such a measure. You can't control people's ownership of vehicles, that is an intervention in people's freedom and would result in many troubles. For instance, lots of businesses would be harmed by such measures, as lots of people will be less inclined to travel long distances to visit these businesses if cars were banned. There is also the problem of work commuters; some people have to travel long distances for their work where public transportation wouldn't be so convenient in their case. Besides, banning cars might not solve the problem after all, as public transportation produces as much pollution as personal vehicles. Which makes us question if such a solution would really provide the efficient results that we seek. In conclusion, the traffic problem is a serious situation that should be dealt with. Nevertheless, the measures that should be used must be considerable and convenient to the public. Radical measures might provide quick fixes, however the resulting consequences might be hard to deal with.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has increased
noticeably
from 1888 to 2000, in Britain. This has lead to a series of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to the impact of vehicles on the environment and to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, alternative forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
were encouraged
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggested issuing international laws to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership.
However
, will that do the trick?

Automobiles cause a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of damage, there's no denying it. The exhaust that they release pollutes the air and causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, not to mention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with traffic and how the city roads
are jammed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lessen these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
; introducing a cleaner and healthier environment, facilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, and improving the citizens'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
through making cities quieter and more serene.

As much as this sounds perfect, one would disagree with such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
. You can't control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's ownership of vehicles,
that is
an intervention in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's freedom and would result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
troubles.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of businesses would
be harmed
by such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be less inclined to travel long distances to visit these businesses if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were banned
. There is
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of work commuters;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel long distances for their work where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
wouldn't be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient in their case.
Besides
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
might not solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
after all
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
produces as much pollution as personal vehicles. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us question if such a solution would
really
provide the efficient results that we seek.

In conclusion
, the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is a serious situation that should
be dealt
with.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considerable and convenient to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Radical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
might provide quick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixes
,
however
the resulting consequences might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to deal with.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 6: Agree or disagree? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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