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Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking website. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking website. How far v. 1
The way of teaching plays crucial role in student's education. It is a debatable issue that all the children should taught together or coaching should be based on various abilities like intelligent children or poor children. This essay delve into both the perspective and at the end, I will give my opinion. First of all, the nation who hold this idea that teaching should be based on different categories, they think this because if all the children study together then it will improve the overall performance of every child. For example, last year a survey conducted by the BBC indicated that the result of teaching different abilities is better than teaching separately. Furthermore, giving instruction all together under the same environment creates curiosity to do better than other children On the other hand, others think the children who are intelligent should be taught differently because all the pupil have the ability to learn easily and they should deserve the special environment to boost their knowledge. For instance, in some schools, they give medical and entrance coaching for intelligent students as soon as they reach 7th or 8th grade. In this age of tough competition this enables them to have an edge over their peers. However, in my opinion, this practice of separating students is unlikely to offer any real benefits. To start with, the performance of intelligent students is not affected when they are taught with average students. On the flip side, separating students may further lower the grades of average students. When all the students in the class are average, they lose the motivation to work harder. In addition, when average or weak students are taught separately, it will make them feel inferior and affect their performance. After all, nobody wants to be labelled as less intelligent or average. Overall, teaching by different abilities have more benefit as compared to giving lessons according to academic ability as a first way improve the overall performance of medium student and gives a chance to perform better.
The way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
plays crucial role in student's education. It is a debatable issue that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "teach"
taught
together or coaching should
be based
on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
The verb 'delve' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay delves"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay delve
into both the perspective and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I will give my opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the nation who hold this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
should
be based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study together then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
of every child.
For example
, last year a survey conducted by the BBC indicated that the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
separately
.
Furthermore
, giving instruction all together under the same environment creates curiosity to do better than other children

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
should
be taught
differently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the pupil have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to learn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easily and
they should deserve the special environment to boost their knowledge.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools, they give medical and entrance coaching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they reach 7th or 8th grade. In this age of tough competition this enables them to have an edge over their peers.

However
, in my opinion, this practice of separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is unlikely to offer any real benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when they
are taught
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. On the flip side, separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
further
lower the grades of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
, they lose the motivation to work harder.
In addition
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
or weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
separately
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel inferior and affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
.
After all
, nobody wants to
be labelled
as less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
or average.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
have more benefit as compared to giving lessons according to academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
as a
first
way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
of medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and gives a chance to perform better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking website. How far v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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