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You have received a letter about winning a prize in a competition organised by the media house, but didn’t receive that prize. Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about it and say– Describe the competition and prize in details. – How do you f v.1

You have received a letter about winning a prize in a competition organised by the media house, but didn’t receive that prize. Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about it and say– Describe the competition and prize in details. – How do you f v. 1
Nowadays, with globalisation, people can buy items which were once available only in a small number of countries. In some ways, it can be seen that countries have become increasingly similar. Personally, I think that this is a good development in many respects and I will explain why. Firstly, globalisation has a good impact because it allows people to acquire things which otherwise would have been impossible to buy. Indeed, many countries have progressed due to this. For instance, in Mauritius, cars are imported mainly from Japan and Germany. This has enabled many Mauritians to buy cars, which is an important aspect of a comfortable life. Moreover, these days there are many online websites such as AliExpress and Amazon where practically anything from abroad can be bought, and this gives many e-shoppers a sense of satisfaction since they are able to possess quality products from many important brands of especially western countries. Furthermore, buying from countries abroad eventually means that the population are adopting different modes of living such as the way they dress, the different types of housing structures, among others. It should be noted that these days, even furnitures can be bought from the other end of the world; many companies sell their ready-made kitchen sets outside their country. Thus, dreams of many people are being fulfilled. Additionally, with this facility of buying from other countries without the need to travel is an advantage for many people. Admittedly, I acknowledge the fact that many people might say that there is a loss of local culture from globalisation. However, this is a minor inconvenience which originates more from mass media. In conclusion, I firmly believe that globalisation is a positive development for a country because it allows its citizens to explore more of the outer world while staying in their home. It also allows the country to boost its economy because of many imported goods in which the government puts taxes.
Nowadays, with
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items which were once available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have become
increasingly
similar.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respects and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire things which
otherwise
would have been impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have progressed due to this.
For instance
, in Mauritius, cars
are imported
mainly
from Japan and Germany. This has enabled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Mauritians to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cars, which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of a comfortable life.
Moreover
, these days there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online websites such as AliExpress and Amazon where
practically
anything from abroad can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
, and this gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
e-shoppers a sense of satisfaction since they are able to possess quality products from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
brands of
especially
western countries.

Furthermore
, buying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
abroad
eventually
means that the population are adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of living such as the way they dress, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of housing structures, among others. It should
be noted
that these days, even
Possible spelling mistake found.
furnitures can
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the world;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
sell their ready-made kitchen sets outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, dreams of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being fulfilled
.
Additionally
, with this facility of buying from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
without the need to travel is an advantage for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Admittedly
, I acknowledge the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might say that there is a loss of local culture from
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
However
, this is a minor inconvenience which originates more from mass media.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
its citizens to explore more of the outer world while staying in their home. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to boost its economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
imported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
puts taxes.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay You have received a letter about winning a prize in a competition organised by the media house, but didn’t receive that prize. Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about it and say– Describe the competition and prize in details. – How do you f v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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