Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Talk about a piece of good news that made you happy and explain why. Please include specific examples and details in your explanation. v.1

Talk about a piece of good news that made you happy and explain why. Please include specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, erradicating poverty is one of the world's major concern as an increasing amount of people are becoming very poor. Each country attempts to deal with poverty throughout various types of actions. In this essay, I shall explain the causes behind the global problem of poverty. Then, I shall give a few examples of ways governments can help poor people. Poverty has been around for many centuries. Although former generations consider it with very little attention, researchers and governments are now trying to understand the mechanism behind poverty. A significant amount of intellectuals agrees on the fact that poverty is mainly due to human wars. For instance, the war in Iraq destroyed the houses of many inhabitants, thus leaving them without any form of wealth. As a result, many iraqian today live with less than a dollar a day. We must note that this was not the case 10 years ago. When it comes to helping the poor, governments often have a wide range of possibilities. During this year, there has been a substantial number of 'yellow jacket' strikes in Paris. This movement mainly protested against the rise of taxes on fuel for cars. Indeed most of the strikers lived under minimum wages and argued they couldn't afford to pay more taxes otherwise they would not be able to live decently. The government became aware of these problems. Consequently, on the 26 of April 2019, the acting french president Emmanuel Macron decided to increase by 5 billion the amount of money given to social aids. In conclusion, poverty is an important problem which has persisted over the last centuries and, even though governments are not capable of erradicating poverty entirely, they try to limits the effect of poverty on the life of the people. For example, in Sweden, rich people are highly taxed in order to redistribute wealth amongst the poor.
Nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
erradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is one of the world's major concern as an increasing amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Each country attempts to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
throughout various types of actions. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the causes behind the global problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Then, I shall give a few examples of ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Poverty has been around for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries. Although former generations consider it with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention, researchers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
trying to understand the mechanism behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. A significant amount of intellectuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is
mainly
due to human wars.
For instance
, the war in Iraq
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inhabitants,
thus
leaving them without any form of wealth.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
iraqian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with less than a dollar a day. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
note that this was not the case 10 years ago.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a wide range of possibilities. During this year, there has been a substantial number of 'yellow jacket' strikes in Paris. This movement
mainly
protested against the rise of taxes on fuel for cars.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
most of the strikers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
under minimum wages and argued they couldn't afford to pay more taxes
otherwise
they would not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
decently
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
became aware of these problems.
Consequently
, on the 26 of April 2019, the acting
"French" needs to be capitalized when not used as a verb.
french
president Emmanuel Macron decided to increase by 5 billion the amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to social aids.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem which has persisted over the last centuries and,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are not capable of
Possible spelling mistake found.
erradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
entirely
, they try to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "limit".
limits
the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
on the life of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, in Sweden, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
highly
taxed in order to redistribute wealth amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Talk about a piece of good news that made you happy and explain why. Please include specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts