Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a piece of good news which made you feel happy. Explain why you felt happy about that news. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v.1

Describe a piece of good news which made you feel happy. Explain why you felt happy about that news. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1
Although it is thought by many that traditional libraries should be upgraded by the digital libraries because they consume a lot of money and expenditure, others disagree. However, in my opinion, I believe that although this development will reduce the human resource need for assistance and their expenses, the increased use of computer screens would raise many health issues. On the one hand, if computers were added to the libraries, then the need for maintenance staff would become redundant. This is to say, the staff is required for running a library, and receive high remunerations in return for their services such as help in finding books from shelves. Because electronic devices will enable people to search a book on their own without any assistance, the monetary budget allocated for the salaries of workers will be saved. For instance, in Germany, the average wage of a librarian is 3000 euros per month, which is a burden on the administration as the popularity of libraries is declining at a staggering rate. However, I consider that computers are liable to repair, and require maintenance staff which will increase the overall expense. On the other hand, increased screen-time can cause discomfort to the reader. As many people are not comfortable with reading books on computer screens, so they will suffer from several ailments such as fatigue and eyesight issues. All levels of radiation from computer screens are below levels that can cause eye damage such as cataracts. I agree that it is not in everyone's capacity to survive with the harmful rays emitted from electronic devices. For example, a recent survey report published in the Daily Times revealed that 56% of people suffering from dry-eye syndrome are excessive computer users. To conclude, although people may vary in their opinions, I think that computers will require IT professionals for running a database, it can also affect the health of people as well
Although it is
thought
by
many
that traditional libraries should
be upgraded
by the digital libraries
because
they consume
a lot of
money and expenditure, others disagree.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that although this development will
reduce
the human resource need for assistance and their expenses, the increased
use
of computer screens would raise
many
health issues.

On the one hand, if computers were
added
to the libraries, then the need for maintenance staff would become redundant. This is to say, the staff
is required
for running a library, and receive high remunerations in return for their services such as
help
in finding books from shelves.
Because
electronic devices will enable
people
to search a book on their
own
without any assistance, the monetary budget allocated for the salaries of workers will
be saved
.
For instance
, in Germany, the average wage of a librarian is 3000 euros per month, which is a burden on the administration as the popularity of libraries is declining at a staggering rate.
However
, I consider that computers are liable to repair, and require maintenance staff which will increase the
overall
expense.

On the other hand
, increased screen-time can cause discomfort to the reader. As
many
people
are not
comfortable with reading
books on computer screens,
so
they will suffer from several ailments such as fatigue and eyesight issues. All levels of radiation from computer screens are below levels that can cause eye damage such as cataracts. I
agree
that it is not in everyone's capacity to survive with the harmful rays emitted from electronic devices.
For example
, a recent survey report published in the Daily Times revealed that 56% of
people
suffering from dry-eye syndrome are excessive computer users.

To conclude
, although
people
may vary in their opinions, I
think
that computers will require IT professionals for running a database, it can
also
affect the health of
people
as well
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a piece of good news which made you feel happy. Explain why you felt happy about that news. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts