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Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. EXplain what you liked or disliked about it. v.1

Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. EXplain what you liked or disliked about it. v. 1
Opinions differ as to whether highly-intelligent workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more money than athletes and celebrities whose jobs involve less extensive knowledge. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement as I think that both sides should be equally paid. It is understandable why professional workers deserve a high salary. The first reason is that they have to spend many years studying and researching in tertiary education. For example, to become a truly professional practitioner in Vietnam, a medical student is supposed to study diligently 6 years in a row, then they must accomplish more than 3 years of doing research in order to obtain master degrees. Furthermore, doctors and nurses are directly dealing with human life, and thus the pressure and responsibility in treating patients are very high. At the same time, teachers play a pivotal role in both educating and training the young generation. Without them, there will be no qualified professors like doctors and scientists who drive the country forward. However, it might be unfair to consider the contributions of sports and entertainment individuals inferior to those discussed above, which means they are not deserved to be well-paid. In fact, those who work in entertainment areas also devote a great deal of time to practice or enhance themselves with an attempt to content the audience. Take singers, for example, they have to exercise their voice and dancing on a daily basis to capture the interest of the audience. In addition, despite hard work, not all singers can become internationally or just nationally acclaimed due to the unpredictable of show business. However, even if being famous, a huge number of fans could threaten their privacy and freedom whenever going out. In conclusion, while workers’ contributions to society vary in particular occupations, I believe that professional and less intellectually demanding workers should be paid equally.
Opinions differ
as to whether
highly
-intelligent
workers
such as doctors, nurses and teachers should
be paid
more money than athletes and celebrities whose jobs involve less extensive knowledge. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement as I
think
that both sides should be
equally
paid.

It is understandable why professional
workers
deserve a high salary. The
first
reason is that they
have to
spend
many
years studying and researching in tertiary education.
For example
, to become a
truly
professional practitioner in Vietnam, a medical student
is supposed
to study
diligently
6 years in a row, then they
must
accomplish more than 3 years of doing research in order to obtain master degrees.
Furthermore
, doctors and nurses are
directly
dealing with human life, and
thus
the pressure and responsibility in treating patients are
very
high. At the same time, teachers play a pivotal role in both educating and training the young generation. Without them, there will be no qualified professors like doctors and scientists who drive the country forward.

However
, it might be unfair to consider the contributions of sports and entertainment individuals inferior to those discussed above, which means they are not deserved to be well-paid. In fact, those who work in entertainment areas
also
devote a great deal of time to practice or enhance themselves with an attempt to content the audience. Take singers,
for example
, they
have to
exercise their voice and dancing on a daily basis to capture the interest of the audience.
In addition
, despite
hard
work, not all singers can become
internationally
or
just
nationally
acclaimed due to the unpredictable of
show
business.
However
, even if being
famous
, a huge number of fans could threaten their privacy and freedom whenever going out.

In conclusion
, while
workers’
contributions to society vary
in particular
occupations, I believe that professional and less
intellectually
demanding
workers
should
be paid
equally
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a photograph or painting you have seen that was memorable. EXplain what you liked or disliked about it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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