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TPO (S5-Q2): Agree or disagree? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature. v.1

TPO (S5-Q2): Agree or disagree? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature. v. 1
There is an increasing number of universities and colleges expanding their educational domain to online courses. While some people claim that it springs many negative points of learning. This essay will point out some positive aspects of online learning. There are various reasons why people believe that study on the Internet is less effective than traditional learning method. The first reason is that with conventional teaching method, students have an environment to interact with both teachers and their peers directly. While with online courses, interaction is somehow restricted. Therefore, through studying face to face, it will significantly help learners increase team-working skills. Secondly, with online learning methods, it depends a lot on surrounding elements such as wifi stability or noise in order to create a good lesson. It means that this teaching way will sort of restraining students’ knowledge absorption. However, the supporters of this idea claim numerous perks that this teaching method brings us. Firstly, by being able to enroll in online courses, Universities are now opening a window of opportunity for those who are living far away from school to approach the knowledge horizon. For example, by opening online-distant learning courses, Cambridge University is now the school of million students around the world such as Vietnam or Singapore. Another reason is that the tuition of online courses is much more reasonable than that of traditional methods. In fact, students do not have to pay for the cost of school facilities or traditional examination process. It means that all classes of society can now approach and equip knowledge regrardless of age, location, ability and background, which results in a well-educated workforce in the future. To sum up, although there are some negative impacts of learning online, people cannot deny the benefits that online learning courses bring us.
There is an increasing number of universities and colleges expanding their educational domain to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that it springs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. This essay will point out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning.

There are various reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that study on the Internet is less effective than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
. The
first
reason is that with conventional teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have an environment to interact with both teachers and their peers
directly
. While with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, interaction is somehow restricted.
Therefore
, through studying face to face, it will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
learners increase team-working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, it depends a lot on surrounding elements such as
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
stability or noise in order to create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lesson. It means that this teaching way will sort of restraining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
knowledge absorption.

However
, the supporters of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
claim numerous perks that this teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
brings us.
Firstly
, by being able to enroll in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, Universities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
opening a window of opportunity for those who are living far away from school to approach the knowledge horizon.
For example
, by opening online-distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, Cambridge University is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the school of million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
around the world such as Vietnam or Singapore. Another reason is that the tuition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is much more reasonable than that of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for the cost of school facilities or traditional examination process. It means that all classes of society can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
approach and equip knowledge
Possible spelling mistake found.
regrardless
of age, location, ability and background, which results in a well-educated workforce in the future.

To sum up, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot deny the benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
bring us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO (S5-Q2): Agree or disagree? It is more important to study math or science than it is to study art or literature. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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