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Do You Agree Or Disagree With The Following Statement? It Is Better To Be A Member Of A Group Than To Be The Leader Of A Group. Use Specific Reasons And Examples To Support Your Answer. v.36

It Is Better To Be A Member Of A Group Than To Be The Leader Of A Group. Use Specific Reasons And Examples To Support Your Answer. v. 36
Some people think that the most concerning factor when looking for a work is the income. I personally believe that the salary is extremely important, however, other factors should not be overlooked. To begin with, there are several reasons why high wage is an important criterion. Firstly, people will have a good standard of living if they can earn a lot of money. As they have more chance to access to better health care, education and recreation, they might enjoy their life to the fullest. Secondly, the more money an individual can earn, the more motivation they might have in their line of work. Because of the attractive allowance offering by companies, their employees usually make every possible effort to their success. Apart from the earnings, others one should be taken into consideration. The first one would be the job satisfaction. Recently, many job seekers are looking for a friendly working environment as they want to keep away from being stressful. If a person does not like what they are doing, they are likely to suffer from a wide range of mental issues such as depression or stress. The second item is how the work makes the contribution to the community. Nowadays, a number of younger are willing to work for NGOs, which might offer to them not a high salary, but opportunities to make towards society. My best friend, for example, has spent 5 years working as a human rights activist because she wants to make progress in gender equality and child care. In conclusion, not only the income, but also other elements need to be considered when people want to choose their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most concerning factor when looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the income. I
personally
believe that the salary is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
however
, other factors should not
be overlooked
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why high wage is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
criterion.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of living if they can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. As they have more chance to access to better health care, education and recreation, they might enjoy their life to the fullest.
Secondly
, the more money an individual can earn, the more motivation they might have in their line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the attractive allowance offering by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, their employees
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
every possible effort to their success.

Apart from the earnings, others one should
be taken
into consideration. The
first
one would be the job satisfaction. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job seekers are looking for a friendly working environment as they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from being stressful. If a person does not like what they are doing, they are likely to suffer from a wide range of mental issues such as depression or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The second item is how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the contribution to the community. Nowadays, a number of younger are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for NGOs, which might offer to them not a high salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
towards society. My best friend,
for example
, has spent 5 years working as a human rights activist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
progress in gender equality and child care.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other elements need to
be considered
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to choose their career.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It Is Better To Be A Member Of A Group Than To Be The Leader Of A Group. Use Specific Reasons And Examples To Support Your Answer. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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