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Talk about a movie you watched recently and liked or disliked. Include examples and details to support your decision. v.1

Talk about a movie you watched recently and liked or disliked. Include examples and details to support your decision. v. 1
Greater numbers of professional sports players in many disciplines are now using prohibited performance-enhancing drugs. This essay will explain that this is mostly due to the higher incomes awarded to athletes who can outperform their opponents and the most suitable solution is to fund research into more cost-effective testing methods. The main reason that these banned drugs are so prevalent is because of the potential for financial reward if the substance is not detected in the athlete’s system. The increased ability that comes with using these substances offers a large advantage over others who follow the rules. This advantage can result in award money for winning competitions or higher salaries for playing in more prestigious leagues. For example, Lance Armstrong won millions of dollars by coming first in cycling races due to the competitive advantage he had from taking steroids. The best long-term solution for this issue is for the different sporting associations to fund the development of inexpensive ways of detecting these substances. At the moment, these tests are only administered at random as the tests are too expensive for everyone to be checked. However, with an inexpensive way of testing, they could all be checked and any with positive results could be removed before competing. For instance, organisers of the Tour de France have banned many competitors since introducing more extensive testing in the 1990s. In conclusion, the main motivation for professional players to use banned substances is that the resulting improvement to their performance could yield large sums of money and to resolve this issue cheaper testing kits should be developed to enable all sports professionals to be tested for these drugs.
Greater numbers of professional sports players in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disciplines are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
using prohibited performance-enhancing drugs. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that this is
mostly
due to the higher incomes awarded to athletes who can outperform their opponents and the most suitable solution is to fund research into more cost-effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
methods.

The main reason that these banned drugs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prevalent is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the potential for financial reward if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
is not detected in the athlete’s system. The increased ability that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
offers a large advantage over others who follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. This advantage can result in award money for winning competitions or higher salaries for playing in more prestigious leagues.
For example
, Lance Armstrong won millions of dollars by coming
first
in cycling races due to the competitive advantage he had from taking steroids.

The best long-term solution for this issue is for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sporting associations to fund the development of inexpensive ways of detecting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
. At the moment, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
administered at random as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are too expensive for everyone to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
.
However
, with an inexpensive way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
, they could all be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
and any with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results could
be removed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
competing.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisers' is British English.
organisers
of the Tour de France have banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitors since introducing more extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
in the 1990s.

In conclusion
, the main motivation for professional players to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
is that the resulting improvement to their performance could yield large sums of money and to resolve this issue cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
kits should
be developed
to enable all sports professionals to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
for these drugs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a movie you watched recently and liked or disliked. Include examples and details to support your decision. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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