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1. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? v.1

1. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? v. 1
Nowadays, many things are measured by wealth and possession and the direct relation of money and happiness has not been settled yet. Some people accept the view that money is directly related to being happy, but others believe that they have unique and distinct meaning in life. This essay will discuss the argument of both scenarios. Happiness is a subjective feeling and is difficult to define as the needs of every person varies from time to time at a particular point of a certain event. In other words, people have different needs and there are several factors that influence it. Generally speaking, happiness can only be attained if the need of an individual is fulfilled or satisfied. Furthermore, as the need of people change over the years, the factors that influence their happiness also changes. To give a clear example, a candy can make a child happy; however, it doesn’t mean much to an adult. Another example is, money might be a source of happiness for an adult, but a child may not show interest in it. There are several factors that can affect the happiness of a person. One of the factors that might lead to happiness is job satisfaction. If the person is satisfied with the kind of job that he or she is doing, then happiness enters in. Another factor leading to happiness is a loving family and friends. If a person receives enough love and care the he or she expects, then they tend to become happy. Finally, doing voluntary works can also lead to happiness. In other words, people feel happy if they serve other people without in return. For instance, a person might find happiness in serving at church every week for free. In conclusion, there are various factors that can influence the happiness of every individual. However, specific factors which make individuals happy are those which satisfy their needs at that point of time.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
are measured
by wealth and possession and the direct relation of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
has not
been settled
yet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept the view that money is
directly
related to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others believe that they have unique and distinct meaning in life. This essay will discuss the argument of both scenarios.

Happiness is a subjective feeling and is difficult to define as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
varies from time to time at a particular point of a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence it.
Generally
speaking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be attained
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of an individual
is fulfilled
or satisfied.
Furthermore
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, a candy can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
;
however
, it doesn’t mean much to an adult. Another example is, money might be a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for an adult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a child may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest in it.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that might lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is job satisfaction. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is satisfied
with the kind of job that he or she is doing, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
enters in. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a loving family and friends. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "he"?
the he
or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
, then they tend to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Finally
, doing voluntary works can
also
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
if they serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without in return.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
might find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in serving at church every week for free.

In conclusion
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
of every individual.
However
, specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
are those which satisfy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
at that point of time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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