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Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. v.1

Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. v.1
Nowadays, sports are being recognized as being beneficial to society. However, others think that sport is just a leisure activity. In my opinion, both views have credibility, which I will elaborate on in this essay. (35 words) Undeniably, there are arguments saying that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Sport can indeed be counted as a leisure activity because not everyone has the abilities and potential to become a professional sports player. Therefore, people generally consider it as a simple activity for relaxing their mind and body during holidays. Apart from this, many families see sport as the way to strengthen the sense of belonging to the relatives, especially for children because parents' time is spent more to do job tasks and less care on them. (92) However, it is an undeniable fact that there are some reasons why sport is essential to society. One of the reasons is that people can become healthier than ever before. By playing sports frequently, people improve their health to help the government to reduce money to be allocated for health insurance for its citizens. For example, the number of people suffering obesity and heart attacks, today, has decreased significantly throughout the world because of the increased interest in playing sports. Another reason is that the young generation is able to cultivate a good habit. With the rapid advancement of technology, they tend to do sedentary activities such as playing computer games and chatting through social media as well. If parents encourage their children to do sport instead of playing games at home, children can improve their social interaction with peers. (141) All things considered, although some people believe that sport is merely a leisure activity, I still think that sport plays an essential role in society because it has brought advantages to people in terms of health and social areas. (39)
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
being recognized
as being beneficial to society.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. In my opinion, both views have credibility, which I will elaborate on in this essay. (35 words)

Undeniably
, there are arguments saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is nothing more than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
can
indeed
be counted
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not everyone has the abilities and potential to become a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
player.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
consider it as a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for relaxing their mind and body during holidays. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as the way to strengthen the sense of belonging to the relatives,
especially
for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents' time
is spent
more to do job tasks and less care on them. (92)

However
, it is an undeniable fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is essential to society. One of the reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become healthier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
frequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
money to
be allocated
for health insurance for its citizens.
For example
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering obesity and heart attacks,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, has decreased
significantly
throughout the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Another reason is that the young generation is able to cultivate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit. With the rapid advancement of technology, they tend to do sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games and chatting through social media
as well
. If parents encourage their children to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
games at home, children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social interaction with peers. (141)

All things considered, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
merely
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
plays an essential role in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has brought advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of health and social areas. (39)
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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