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What was your favorite movie of the last year? Use details and examples to explain what you liked about the movie. v.1

What was your favorite movie of the last year? Use details and examples to explain what you liked about the movie. v. 1
Advancement is salient for a nation to keep moving forward and compete with other developed countries. However, there are predominantly two contrasting views where the government of the society vehemently deems that economic advancement should be the most valuable goal. The people, in contrast, believe that the other types of progress are equally valuable for a nation. On the one hand, to make sure that a country is competing on par with other countries, economic progression should be the goal. Moreover, if the economy is thriving, it will provide more job opportunities for the middle class and in turn, increase the employment percentage of the population. For instance, USA has the largest economy in the world and it continues to be one because of the incessant efforts of the US authority to focus on the economy first. On the other hand, the government's sole focus on the economic development will decline the progress of the country in other fields like the educational sector or the technological sector. Furthermore, for the youth of the country to grow and help in the economic development of the nation later in life, it is paramount that the educational progress receives the same amount of attention as the economical expansion. In my opinion, although, focusing on the economic betterment is a fundamental step to create more employment opportunities and reduce destitution in a country, it is essential to shift focus on a range of additional developments to grow the country overall. The governmental organizations should make sure that the education, technology, health and food sectors are progressing along with the economy of a country. In conclusion, there must be a balance between the economic and all the other kinds of growth to make a nation successful and prosper in every field.
Advancement is salient for a nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving forward and compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, there are
predominantly
two contrasting views where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the society
vehemently
deems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advancement should be the most valuable goal. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
in contrast
, believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of progress are
equally
valuable for a nation.

On the one hand, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is competing on par with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progression should be the goal.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is thriving, it will provide more job opportunities for the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and in turn, increase the employment percentage of the population.
For instance
, USA has the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in the world and it continues to be one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the incessant efforts of the US authority to focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
first
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's sole focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development will decline the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields like the educational sector or the technological sector.
Furthermore
, for the youth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development of the nation later in life, it is paramount that the educational progress receives the same amount of attention as the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
expansion.

In my opinion, although, focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
betterment is a fundamental step to create more employment opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
destitution in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it is essential to shift focus on a range of additional developments to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
overall
. The governmental organizations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the education, technology, health and food sectors are progressing along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a country.

In conclusion
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of growth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a nation successful and prosper in every field.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What was your favorite movie of the last year? Use details and examples to explain what you liked about the movie. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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