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Taking care of children is probably one of the most important jobs of society and parents should be forced to take training courses showing them how to do so. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

Taking care of children is probably one of the most important jobs of society and parents should be forced to take training courses showing them how to do so. v. 1
Training programs for prospective parents should be made mandatory as raising a child is perhaps the single most important role of society. Personally, I disagree with this statement and the following paragraphs shall outline my reasoning for this belief. Firstly, nobody should ever be forced to do anything against their will. This is the mark of a truly free society which we should all strive to be. However, support for future parents should certainly be made available and offered to them regularly as this is a most difficult and onerous task, especially for those without significant family support. A great example of this approach in action is the UK’s National Health Service who assess each new parents needs and send support workers to individual parents when deemed appropriate. Secondly, there is no single way to nurture a child through their early years and childhood. The parents are in the best position to judge which way is going to be best for their child as they know their child best. Forcing people to attend a course that teaches one particular style may affect a parent’s judgment negatively and therefore do more harm than good. For example, one child may need to be shown strong discipline from their parents as they are a very loud dominant personality whereas another may need constant encouragement as they are much more introverted personality. To sum up, freedom and individuality are key reasons why parents should not be required to attend parenting classes. Governments around the world should do what they can to support parents but not force them to do anything against their will.
Training programs for prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be made
mandatory as raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is perhaps the single most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of society.
Personally
, I disagree with this statement and the following paragraphs shall outline my reasoning for this belief.

Firstly
, nobody should ever
be forced
to do anything against their will. This is the mark of a
truly
free society which we should all strive to be.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
certainly
be made
available and offered to them
regularly
as this is a most difficult and onerous task,
especially
for those without significant family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
. A great example of this approach in action is the UK’s National Health Service who assess each new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
workers to individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when deemed appropriate.

Secondly
, there is no single way to nurture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
through their early years and childhood. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are in the best position to judge which way is going to be best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
best. Forcing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to attend a course that teaches one particular style may affect a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
judgment
negatively
and
therefore
do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may need to
be shown
strong discipline from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
loud dominant personality whereas another may need constant encouragement as they are much more introverted personality.

To sum up, freedom and individuality are key reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
be required
to attend parenting classes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
around the world should do what they can to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not force them to do anything against their will.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Taking care of children is probably one of the most important jobs of society and parents should be forced to take training courses showing them how to do so. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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