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Q- Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Q- Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally v. 1
While it is often believed that governments ought to cooperate to solve the environmental issues, others think that these problems must be solved domestically. In my opinion, I believe that tackling these issues in a worldwide way can have better advantages on both the globe and individual countries. On the one hand, some people consider that trying to solve the environmental problems on the worldwide scale can have better solutions for these problems than the individual solutions and I agree. In other words, when the governments work together to deal with any issue that one country faces, they will utilize all the resources they have to find out the proper solution to this issue; consequently, their effect on this problem will be greater than the effect of only one country. For example, when Indonesia faced the catastrophe of tsunami in 2005, all the nations around the world cooperated together to save many people's lives which they could not save them with their own facilities. On the other hand, other people say that focusing on the local environmental problems only may have more benefits to the country itself. This is because there are some global environmental problems which cannot have any influence on some countries at all then it will be waste for time and money for the governments of these countries to deal with these problems. For instance, if the country is not surrounded by any seas at all, they will not be affected by the melting polar caps which derived from the issue of global warming. Therefore, it will be better for these countries to focus on the environmental issues that hinder them locally. In conclusion, while some say that environmental problems should be solved nationally, I believe that there are more benefits for the world and countries themselves to deal with these problems on worldwide scale.
While it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to cooperate to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be solved
domestically
. In my opinion, I believe that tackling these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
Consider replacing "in a worldwide way" with the adverb for "worldwide"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a worldwide way
can have better advantages on both the globe and individual countries.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that trying to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on the worldwide scale can have better solutions for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
than the individual solutions and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
work together to deal with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
faces, they will utilize all the resources they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find out the proper solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
;
consequently
, their effect on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will be greater than the effect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, when Indonesia faced the catastrophe of tsunami in 2005, all the nations around the world cooperated together to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which they could not save them with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
facilities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that focusing on the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
may have more benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
itself. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which cannot have any influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at all then it will be waste for time and money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not surrounded by any seas at all, they will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the melting polar caps which derived from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of global warming.
Therefore
, it will be better for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that hinder them
locally
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
be solved
nationally
, I believe that there are more benefits for the world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
themselves to deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on worldwide scale.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Q- Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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