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Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement v.1

Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses with the statement v. 1
Nowadays, supermarkets are stocked with food products from around the world. Some individuals are of the opinion that this imported food has a detrimental effect on our economy and culture and it would be better if people ate only the local produce. Certainly, the disadvantages of imported food outweigh the advantages. On the positive side, transporting food over a long distance gives us a lot of choices. We can taste a variety of fruits and vegetables from all parts of the world. For example, about ten years ago, we hardly saw kiwi fruit, which is from New Zealand. But, now it has a place on every fruit stand. Secondly, many people get employment in this field. Small farmers have a chance to expand globally and it increases the overall economy of the country. Finally, it helps in developing good relations between countries, which helps in international cooperation and peace. When the countries are dependent upon one another's economic success, then armed conflict would be less likely. On the other hand, importing food can have a negative effect on local culture. This can be seen in countries such as Japan, where imported food has become more popular than traditional, local produce, eroding people's understanding of their own food traditions. Although some would claim that this is a natural part of economic development, in an increasingly global world, I feel strongly that any loss of regional culture would be detrimental. A second major reason to reduce imports is the environmental cost. Currently, many food imports such as fruit, are transported thousands of miles by road, sea and air, making the product more expensive to buy and increasing pollution from exhaust fumes. Despite the fact that trade in food exports has existed for many years, I am convinced that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains. In conclusion, I am certain that if people ate locally produced food, it would have environmental benefits. That would also benefit the local economy because, in time, people would prosper commercially as the demand for local and regional produce would remain high resisting the competition from overseas.
Nowadays, supermarkets
are stocked
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products from around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that this imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a detrimental effect on our economy and culture and it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
produce.
Certainly
, the disadvantages of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outweigh the advantages.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over a long distance gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
choices. We can taste a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and vegetables from all parts of the world.
For example
, about ten years ago, we hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
kiwi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
, which is from New Zealand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it has a place on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
stand.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment in this field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
farmers have a chance to expand globally and it increases the
overall
economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Finally
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in international cooperation and peace. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are dependent upon one another's economic success, then armed conflict would be less likely.

On the other hand
, importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Japan, where imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become more popular than traditional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
produce, eroding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's understanding of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
traditions. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would claim that this is a natural part of economic development, in an
increasingly
global world, I feel
strongly
that any loss of regional culture would be detrimental.

A second major reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
imports is the environmental cost.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
imports such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
,
are transported
thousands of miles by road, sea and air, making the product more expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and increasing pollution from exhaust fumes. Despite the fact that trade in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
exports has existed for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, I
am convinced
that a reduction would bring significant financial and environmental gains.

In conclusion
, I am certain that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ate
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it would have environmental benefits. That would
also
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prosper
commercially
as the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and regional produce would remain high resisting the competition from overseas.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses with the statement v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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