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Taking a lot of time to make an important decision is often considered as a bad quality for a person. However, some people think that is a good quality for a person v.1

Taking a lot of time to make an important decision is often considered as a bad quality for a person. However, some people think that is a good quality for a person v. 1
Some work in their entire life for a single company, whereas there are some people who think jobs in various organizations have better outcomes. In my opinion, although working with multiple companies may give stability and growth in a professional career, working in the same place may help to lead a happy successful living. One of the main benefits of working for the same corporation is it provides stress free and happy living. In modern days people are having health and mental issues due to work for a longer hours and changing of employers. Frequent changes of occupation create mental pressure to perform better to achieve the goal which leads to longer working hours and less family time. For example, University of Tokyo has published an article on the reasons of the high suicide rate in Japan and it has come out that the main reason is anxiety and stress due to employer change. More than sixty percentage of suicides happened to have a better career growth and changed their employee during a period of six to twelve months. To achieve success professionally it is one of the key things to change some positions and employers. People change to a new place when they get at least twenty percent increase in their monthly wages or get a new role. Money and position are essential in all areas of life which can be achieved by working in different organizations. For instance, the majority of workers at Microsoft, Google or Oracle did not start there at the beginning of their careers, but they were selected because they had vast experiences which they gain by working in small firms. However, it is crucial to maintain the big roles and responsibilities. Failing on them can lead to debilitating effect because getting a similar job might be very tough. In conclusion, some people argue that changes in job and career have positive outcome, but others prefer to spend their whole age for the same company to become happy and relief of stress. It is recommended that, people should choose their job and organization wisely to have a balance between work and personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
work in their entire life for a single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, whereas there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in various organizations have better outcomes. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may give stability and growth in a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same place may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lead a happy successful living.

One of the main benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same corporation is it provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free and happy living. In modern days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having health and mental issues due to work for a longer hours and changing of employers. Frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
of occupation create mental pressure to perform better to achieve the goal which leads to longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours and less family time.
For example
, University of Tokyo has published an article on the reasons of the high suicide rate in Japan and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out that the main reason is anxiety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. More than sixty percentage of suicides happened to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their employee during a period of six to twelve months.

To achieve success
professionally
it is one of the key things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positions and employers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
to a new place when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at least twenty percent increase in their monthly wages or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new role. Money and position are essential in all areas of life which can
be achieved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations.
For instance
, the majority of workers at Microsoft, Google or Oracle did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
there at the beginning of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
were selected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had vast experiences which they gain by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
firms.
However
, it is crucial to maintain the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
roles and responsibilities. Failing on them can lead to debilitating effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
getting a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others prefer to spend their whole age for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to become happy and relief of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. It
is recommended
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and organization
wisely
to have a balance between work and personal life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Taking a lot of time to make an important decision is often considered as a bad quality for a person. However, some people think that is a good quality for a person v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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