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Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v.5

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 5
Nowadays, supermarkets are filled with food products from around the globe. Yet, there are arguments that supermarkets should not be fulled of imported food. I personally disagree with this idea. Firstly, if there are no imported food products in the supermarket, there will be a shortage of food, which are domestic products. Moreover, some nations do not have enough domestic food for their citizens due to the lack of fertile lands or even the shortage of water. The fact that these countries depends on agricultural nations, such as Ivory Coast has to import rice from Vietnam, which is an agricultural country. Secondly, the act of import increases significantly the chance of earning money and investing in a better live. Workers surely depend on this to raise their incomes. For instance, Kenya relies on their agricultural cuisine import to have a better live. Most Kenyans place their bets on this trade activity to have money for building constructions or having their children to attend schools. Thirdly, this trade activity absolutely reduce all the environment wastes. Additionally, far many food imports are transferred by sea, which cut down on not only the price of these cuisines but also the exhaust fumes. Take Russia as a case in point, with a long coastline, this country successfully lower the pollution which result from transporting food by road. To sum up, the benefits of food imports way overweight the domestic food. I am sure that culture, environment, and people will be profitable from food imports.
Nowadays, supermarkets
are filled
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products from around the globe.
Yet
, there are arguments that supermarkets should not
be fulled
of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I
personally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Firstly
, if there are no imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products in the supermarket, there will be a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which are domestic products.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their citizens due to the lack of fertile lands or even the shortage of water. The fact that these countries depends on agricultural nations, such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the Ivory Coast".
as Ivory Coast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
rice from Vietnam, which is an agricultural country.

Secondly
, the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
increases
significantly
the chance of earning money and investing in a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Workers
surely
depend on this to raise their incomes.
For instance
, Kenya relies on their agricultural cuisine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
to have a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Most Kenyans place their bets on this trade activity to have money for building constructions or having their children to attend schools.

Thirdly
, this trade activity
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
all the environment wastes.
Additionally
, far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
are transferred
by sea, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the price of these cuisines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the exhaust fumes. Take Russia as a case in point, with a long coastline, this country
successfully
lower the pollution which result from transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by road.

To sum up, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
way overweight the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I am sure that culture, environment, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be profitable from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imports
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. What are your opinions on this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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