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Today, the quality of life in large cities are decreasing, what are the main causes and it's solutions? v.1

Today, the quality of life in large cities are decreasing, what are the main causes and it's solutions? v. 1
Nowadays, there are numbers of difficulties faced by Metropolitan city dwellers in order to get a comfortable and pleasurable lifestyle in the city. However, the standard of living in the metropolitan city has been gradually declining for the present time. This will examine several causes of the situation and the purpose of some solutions. One of the main causes is the vast proportion of rural migration. The large cities can provide a greater amount of various facilities for the child's higher education, which may not be available in remote places in the nation. Therefore, inhabitants of rural areas would select to emigrate to find a better working environment as well as high-quality education for their overall growth. Owing to this the population density in the city, which may be increased considerably. as a result, rising residential cost, maintenance cost, transportation cost and many more are the factors that are contributing to becoming the worst quality of city life. Another reason could be, exhaling greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, especially carbon dioxide. For instance, Industries, public transportation and private mode of transportation are directly breathing out toxic fumes into the atmosphere, which are the main factor of increasing the atmospheric temperature. Many health diseases such as dehydration, skin infection, and many others that are the main cause of the climatic rise in temperature. Hence, the pollution is the second most factor which affects city life. There are several solutions to deal with this concern. Firstly, outskirts and Suburban area should be developed by the government. Moreover, the government should change the policy of industrialisation to develop Outer- part of the city, which would help to reduce population growth in the city area. Along with, migrants will get benefits from the development of the outskirt areas of the city where living costs, as well as other costs, may be lower as compared to City centres. In addition, individuals should be motivated to use public transportation by improving transportation facilities and increasing the fuel price. To sum up, rural immigration to metropolitan city and city pollution are the major factors for becoming Citylife worse, if the government change the industrialisation policy and improve better public transportation, this issue would be reduced in a very extend.
Nowadays, there are numbers of difficulties faced by Metropolitan city dwellers in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a comfortable and pleasurable lifestyle in the city.
However
, the standard of living in the metropolitan city has been
gradually
declining for the present time. This will examine several causes of the situation and the purpose of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the main causes is the vast proportion of rural migration. The large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can provide a greater amount of various facilities for the child's higher education, which may not be available in remote places in the nation.
Therefore
, inhabitants of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would select to emigrate to find a better working environment
as well
as high-quality education for their
overall
growth. Owing to this the population density in the city, which may
be increased
considerably
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a result, rising residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, maintenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that are contributing to becoming the worst quality of city life.

Another reason could be, exhaling greenhouse gases in the atmosphere,
especially
carbon dioxide.
For instance
, Industries, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and private mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
are
directly
breathing out toxic fumes into the atmosphere, which are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
of increasing the atmospheric temperature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
health diseases such as dehydration, skin infection, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others that are the main cause of the climatic rise in temperature.
Hence
, the pollution is the second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
which affects city life.

There are several solutions to deal with this concern.
Firstly
, outskirts and Suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
should
be developed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the policy of
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
to develop Outer- part of the city, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
population growth in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Along with, migrants will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits from the development of the outskirt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the city where living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
,
as well
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
, may be lower
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to City
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
In addition
, individuals should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
by improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
facilities and increasing the fuel price.

To sum up, rural immigration to metropolitan city and city pollution are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
Citylife
worse, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
policy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
better public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, this issue would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
extend.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Today, the quality of life in large cities are decreasing, what are the main causes and it's solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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