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Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. v.11

Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. v. 11
Only local foods should be provided at supermarkets rather than foods from other countries. We all know that consuming our own goods makes the country’s economy grow, but what if the country does not have enough ingredient for making a healthy meal, kids will not be served healthy meals? In my opinion, I think that every supermarket should provide a variety of ingredients and food. Nowadays, there are many countries that cannot plant the vegetations, due to drought or unfavourable environment, therefore teenagers in those countries will have a lack of vitamins and other minerals. This situation is the most terrible thing that can happen all over the world, because children are one hundred percent of our future, if they do not enough minerals or proteins, these kids can easily get the disease. For instance, youth in some part of the world is starving because their president does not believe that import food from other countries is significant, so they will be having only food that can produce in their environment, such as in some islands they eat Sadeen Fish every day, and that is horrific. On the other hand, in case of supermarket only provide local products, producers in that country will not be unemployed because they are the biggest and the only one who can deliver food, thus the economy will never fall as long as there is no problem with producer, however if all sources are not able to be reaped, due to disasters, the whole country is going to run out of food. To illustrate, there is a small country surrounding with forests, they hunt and harvest from the forests for their food, the economy is growing and keeps growing, unfortunately, one day in the forests are burnt by a fire disaster and take weeks to recover them, will they survive without food for the rest of the week? To conclude, if supermarkets sell only local food, no one cannot guarantee that if there are enough nutrients for those local people or not, in contrast the economy will certainly raise. Finally, I my point of view I think it is the best to provide a variety of food from all over the world in the supermarket.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
should
be provided
at supermarkets
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. We all know that consuming our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
grow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ingredient for making a healthy meal, kids will not
be served
healthy meals? In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every supermarket should provide a variety of ingredients and food.

Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that cannot plant the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetations
, due to drought or
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
environment,
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will have a lack of vitamins and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
minerals. This situation is the most terrible thing that can happen all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children are one hundred percent of our future, if they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
minerals or proteins, these kids can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the disease.
For instance
, youth in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the world is starving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their president does not believe that import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is significant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that can produce in their environment, such as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
islands they eat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sadeen
Fish every day, and
that is
horrific.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in case of supermarket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products, producers in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will not
be unemployed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the biggest and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one who can deliver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
will never fall as long as there is no problem with producer,
however
if all sources are not able to
be reaped
, due to disasters, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is going to run out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To illustrate, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
surrounding with forests, they hunt and harvest from the forests for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is growing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
growing, unfortunately, one day in the forests
are burnt
by a fire disaster and take weeks to recover them, will they survive without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the rest of the week?

To conclude
, if supermarkets sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, no one cannot guarantee that if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrients for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or not,
in contrast
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
will
certainly
raise.
Finally
, I my point of view I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the best to provide a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from all over the world in the supermarket.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country rather than imports from overseas. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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