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Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1
The graph depicts the fact of worker's or employee's taking different modes of transport to commute between home to work in the year 2009. Comparing the data with London workers separately creates a distinct visualisation for the user to analyse the fact of daily office commute of different work group. London is one of the busiest cities as we depicts from the graph with 15% of the people are taking over an hour of travel time to reach to their work place. With only close to 18% of the workers are taking less than 15mins. Further drilling down, we are about to deduce that workers are leaving in farther areas from work locations. Other parts of the UK the work place are either equally distributed over the cities or employee are finding cheaper rate houses nearer to their work place. Being expensive in London, workers prefer to stay a little farther from the work place. Mode of commute generally employee's prefers a car, might be the reason for a higher travel time in London as 35% of the employee prefer to commute by car. Most minimal is by bicycle, only 2% of them prefer. If we try to lessen the percentage the car used by workers & allow them to use public transports like bus, train and underground, then there is a high potential of reducing of commute time in London, whereas in the rest parts of the UK most that is 79% prefer a car, but due to lower rates and equal distribution of work office location around the cities making it a suitable place to live in. Concluding with the fact the most of them prefer their own transport to commute between work and office, which make it difficult in London to reduce the traffic time, but cheaper house accommodation and distributed work location can make life easier in London.
The graph depicts the fact of worker's or employee's taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of transport to commute between home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the year 2009. Comparing the data with London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
separately
creates a distinct
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualisation' is British English.
visualisation
for the user to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the fact of daily office commute of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
group.

London is one of the busiest cities as we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "depict"
depicts
from the graph with 15% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking over an hour of travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
close to 18% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are taking less than 15mins.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
drilling down, we are about to deduce that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are leaving in farther areas from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
locations. Other parts of the UK the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
are either
equally
distributed over the cities or employee are finding cheaper rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
nearer to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Being expensive in London,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to stay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
farther from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.

Mode of commute
generally
employee's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefers
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, might be the reason for a higher travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in London as 35% of the employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to commute by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. Most minimal is by bicycle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
. If we try to lessen the percentage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
&
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transports like bus, train and underground, then there is a high potential of reducing of commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in London, whereas in the rest parts of the UK most
that is
79%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to lower rates and equal distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
office location around the cities making it a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

Concluding with the fact the most of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transport to commute between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and office, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult in London to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cheaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
accommodation and distributed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
location can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier in London.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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