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People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v.2

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v. 2
In the last few decades, the consumption of ready-made meals has increased dramatically. For people with long working hours, this is a fast and easy way to feed themselves. Precooked food might be convenient and time-saving, but it is also unhealthy and can lead to several illnesses. This essay will discuss why people prefer processed meals over fresh produce and what effects this might have on them. Nowadays, most people are forced to spend long hours in the office, leaving little time for anything else, including the preparation of a healthy dinner. Most people find it more convenient to purchase a ready-made meal instead of spending more of their time preparing it themselves. A very good example would be, where both parents need to work long hours and then still needs to prepare dinner, do homework with the kids and have family time, leaving no time for oneself. Clearly, a processed diet is more convenient and time-efficient but also have its downside. Processed food contains a lot of chemical preservatives, salt and sugar to keep it fresh and editable for longer periods. This is very unhealthy in the long run and can cause diseases such as obesity, cholesterol, diabetes and even heart diseases. Recent studies in South Africa showed that almost 65% of people who only eat treated food tends to get one of these illnesses starting at an age as young as 8 years old. In conclusion, people with a busy lifestyle prefer the convenience of ready-made meals even though being aware of the unhealthy side effects caused by this food.
In the last few decades, the consumption of ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
has increased
dramatically
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
working hours, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and easy way to feed themselves. Precooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
might be convenient and time-saving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
unhealthy and can lead to several illnesses. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
over fresh produce and what effects this might have on them.

Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
hours in the office, leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for anything else, including the preparation of a healthy dinner. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
instead
of spending more of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
preparing it themselves. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example would be, where both parents need to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
hours and then
still
needs to prepare dinner, do homework with the kids and have family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, leaving no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for oneself.

Clearly
, a processed diet is more convenient and time-efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have its downside. Processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chemical preservatives, salt and sugar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it fresh and editable for longer periods. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run and can cause diseases such as obesity, cholesterol, diabetes and even heart diseases. Recent studies in South Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that almost 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eat treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one of these illnesses starting at an age as young as 8 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a busy lifestyle prefer the convenience of ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
even though
being aware of the unhealthy side effects caused by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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