Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Q: Successful sports professionals can earn great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Q: Successful sports professionals can earn great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. v. 1
Every country’s law governing body has their own legal way of punishing public criminals. There are split arguments regarding the inclination of today's crime rate. It is often argued that long periods of incarceration is the solution, whilst another group of thinkers support that mental reinforcement is more essential. Both views will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. The primary opinion the supporters would put forward is the long term imprisonment of the criminals as the key to the prevalence of certain crimes and public violations. In this sense, law violators will be locked away and will make the local community to be effectively protected. Therefore, as a law-abiding citizen, I agree with this viewpoint since the government should make a plan of action for the safety and security of its people, which should be prioritized. The Philippine government's campaign for eradication of illegal drugs is a prime example, in which penalty includes life imprisonment or a huge amount of monetary fine for the criminals. On the contrary, it is also believed that the answer to the world's existing criminal crisis is the psychological aid to the violators. Moreover, this approach will be less traumatic and could help them adapt to their lives out of prison. Despite this, adaptation and cognitive support can still be achieved even after the time period of imprisonment, and because of that, this essay disagrees that psychological assistance is even better for the benefit of the majority. For instance, long term prisoners receive regular visits and jail staff conducts occupational therapy activities to assist these people to become productive. In conclusion, despite the benefits a long term detainment of criminals could effectively bring, such as safety and security to the society, some still feel that cognitive assistance is a must. However, it is a clear idea that a long period of incarceration stands out of the rest, primarily due to the relief and peace that it provides to the community.
Every country’s law governing body has their
own
legal way of punishing public
criminals
. There
are split
arguments regarding the inclination of
today
's crime rate. It is
often
argued that
long
periods of incarceration is the solution, whilst another group of thinkers
support
that mental reinforcement is more essential. Both views will
be discussed
in the ensuing paragraphs.

The primary opinion the supporters would put forward is the
long
term imprisonment of the
criminals
as the key to the prevalence of certain crimes and public violations. In this sense, law violators will
be locked
away and will
make
the local community to be
effectively
protected.
Therefore
, as a law-abiding citizen, I
agree
with this viewpoint since the
government
should
make
a plan of action for the safety and security of its
people
, which should
be prioritized
. The Philippine
government
's campaign for eradication of illegal drugs is a prime example, in which penalty includes life imprisonment or a huge amount of monetary fine for the criminals.

On the contrary
, it is
also
believed that the answer to the world's existing
criminal
crisis is the psychological aid to the violators.
Moreover
, this approach will be less traumatic and could
help
them adapt to their
lives
out of prison. Despite this, adaptation and cognitive support can
still
be achieved
even after the time period of imprisonment, and
because
of that, this essay disagrees that psychological assistance is even better for the benefit of the majority.
For instance
,
long
term prisoners receive regular visits and jail staff conducts occupational therapy activities to assist these
people
to become productive.

In conclusion
, despite the benefits a
long
term detainment of
criminals
could
effectively
bring, such as safety and security to the society,
some
still
feel that cognitive assistance is a
must
.
However
, it is a
clear
idea
that a
long
period of incarceration stands out of the rest,
primarily
due to the relief and peace that it provides to the community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Q: Successful sports professionals can earn great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts