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t is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.1

t is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 1
The relationship between modern technology and traditional culture has always been a great concern of many. Some people argue that they both cannot go well with each other and I completely agree with the idea. This essay will discuss how technology affects a culture in a bad way. Firstly, media has played an integral part in damaging the cultures of the world. Advancements in the field of telecommunication have turned the world into a global village. Whatever is available at one corner of the globe can easily be found on the other, which has damaged the uniqueness of any area. This is true for every aspect of life, like the food we eat, the dress we wear, the language we speak. One can see that American culture has become dominant over others, and it is prevailing all over the world. More and more people in Asian countries, for example, are copying the styles of American outfits and street foods in India are widely replaced by KFC and McDonalds. Therefore, media plays a crucial part in making the cultures less distinctive. Furthermore, while development in technology makes our life easier, it also changed the way we live. The introduction of many appliances like the microwave and electric grills has radically transformed the way of our traditional cooking. People no longer spend time in the kitchen to make food for themselves as they were used to do before. In addition, development in travel and tourism industry has made it affordable for everyone to explore the world and to visit different countries. Every time, when a tourist visits a country, he brings with it his own culture, and it leaves some impression on the local people. For instance, a great number of people in Northern Pakistan started wearing jeans after the development of tourist attraction in that area. Hence, the link between the evolution of technology and cultural damage can be seen. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that while technology brings comfort to our life, it makes the cultures more vague and indistinctive.
The relationship between modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has always been a great concern of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that they both cannot go well with each other and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
affects a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way.

Firstly
, media has played an integral part in damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Advancements in the field of telecommunication have turned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a global village. Whatever is available at one corner of the globe can
easily
be found
on the other, which has damaged the uniqueness of any area. This is true for every aspect of life, like the food we eat, the dress we wear, the language we speak. One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has become dominant over others, and it is prevailing all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Asian countries,
for example
, are copying the styles of American outfits and street foods in India are
widely
replaced by KFC and
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
.
Therefore
, media plays a crucial part in making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
less distinctive.

Furthermore
, while development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life easier, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The introduction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
appliances like the microwave and electric grills has
radically
transformed the way of our traditional cooking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
no longer spend time in the kitchen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
food for themselves as they were
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to doing".
used to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, development in travel and tourism industry has made it affordable for everyone to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. Every time, when a tourist visits a country, he brings with it his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impression on the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Northern Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
wearing jeans after the development of tourist attraction in that area.
Hence
, the link between the evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and cultural damage can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings comfort to our life, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
more vague and
Possible spelling mistake found.
indistinctive
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay t is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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