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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.10

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 10
Many individuals nowadays prefer to work for themselves rather than being employed in an organisation. The main reason behind this preference is the freedom which people get by working independently. Though there are advantages to working for oneself, the main disadvantage is that there is no guaranteed pay check at the end of the month. The first and foremost reason that encourages people to opt for self employment is the liberty and freedom that comes along with it. That is to say, if an individual is working in an organisation then they will be bound by the rules and regulations of the company and probably have a boss to dictate terms to them. Some people do not like this concept and like to work according to their own ways. For instance, if an individual is employed in the army then he is bound by their rules and regulations. He would have to follow the dress code, meal plans as well as timings. Not everyone appreciates being bound by the rules that someone else has made. The major disadvantage of being self employed is that it requires a great deal of self discipline to succeed. As the person is not dependent or answerable to anyone when working for himself, it becomes very easy to skip deadlines. Furthermore, on skipping deadlines or missing the set targets there will be no one to bear the consequences except he himself. Another downside is the lack of a stable income. It takes years for a self-employed person to establish themselves in their field and until then there is no guarantee that they will earn enough to make a living. In conclusion, the need for liberty and freedom make people want to follow the path of self employment, but they may fail if they deviate from the set targets due to lack of discipline.
Many
individuals nowadays prefer to work for themselves
rather
than
being employed
in an
organisation
. The main reason behind this preference is the freedom which
people
get
by
working
independently
. Though there are advantages to
working
for oneself, the main disadvantage is that there is no guaranteed pay
check
at the
end
of the month.

The
first
and foremost reason that encourages
people
to opt for self employment is the liberty and freedom that
comes
along with it.
That is
to say, if an individual is
working
in an
organisation
then they will
be bound
by the
rules
and regulations of the
company
and
probably
have a boss to dictate terms to them.
Some
people
do not like this concept and like to work according to their
own
ways.
For instance
, if an individual
is employed
in the army then he
is bound
by their
rules
and regulations. He would
have to
follow the dress code, meal plans
as well
as timings. Not everyone appreciates
being bound
by the
rules
that someone else has made.

The major disadvantage of being
self employed
is that it requires a great deal of
self discipline
to succeed. As the person is not dependent or answerable to anyone when
working
for himself, it becomes
very
easy to skip deadlines.
Furthermore
, on skipping deadlines or missing the set targets there will be no one to bear the
consequences except
he himself. Another downside is the lack of a stable income. It takes years for a self-employed person to establish themselves in their field and until then there is no guarantee that they will earn
enough
to
make
a living.

In conclusion
, the need for liberty and freedom
make
people
want to follow the path of self employment,
but
they may fail if they deviate from the set targets due to lack of discipline.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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