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More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v.1

More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 1
It is argued by some that movies can be watched by the means of gadgets such as tablets and smartphones, and there is no point to go to the movie theatres, however, others disagree. In this essay both views will be discussed and I will express my opinion at the end. In recent years, technology advancement has changed individual's lives, and with the help of which, movies are accessible by touch of a finger. To illustrate an example, the individuals could watch a film as they are lying in their beds and having some snacks. Such can provide them with convenience and make them needless to go to the show theatres. However, people should consider the merits that they are losing such as fantastic sound and screen quality. On the contrary, others believe watching motion pictures in the movie house has its own benefits. They opine that films should be watched at of most quality, both in sound and screen. For instance, the experience of watching a 3D film in the cinema cannot be compared with watching it in a tiny smartphone. Besides, the producers spend their budget on the films in order to gain some profits, which attending to the cinema is a way to appreciate their hard works and efforts. Thus, going to the cinema will facilitate the money changeover, which might lead to the revival of the cinema industry. To conclude, while some argue that with the help of tablets, going to the movie house to watch a film is an absurd task, I believe watching movies in the movie theatres is a joyful experience and not only does it provides us with watching films in high quality enviroments but also it is our way of appreciation to the efforts that have been made by hundreds of people who work in the cinema industry.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by the means of gadgets such as tablets and smartphones, and there is no point to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
,
however
, others disagree. In this essay both views will
be discussed
and I will express my opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In recent years, technology advancement has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
individual's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of which,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are accessible by touch of a finger. To illustrate an example, the individuals could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a film as they are lying in their beds and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
snacks. Such can provide them with convenience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them needless to go to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should consider the merits that they are losing such as fantastic sound and screen quality.

On the contrary
, others believe watching motion pictures in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. They opine that films should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
at of most quality, both in sound and screen.
For instance
, the experience of watching a 3D film in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
cannot
be compared
with watching it in a tiny smartphone.
Besides
, the producers spend their budget on the films in order to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profits, which attending to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is a way to appreciate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
works and efforts.
Thus
, going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
will facilitate the money changeover, which might lead to the revival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
industry.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of tablets, going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a film is an absurd task, I believe watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
is a joyful experience and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
Did you mean "provide"? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
provides
us with watching films in high quality
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is our way of appreciation to the efforts that have
been made
by hundreds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
industry.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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