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Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 1
An ideal society has always been a dream of any individual in the course of history. For many countries, a rich and powerful community is worth pursuing while others believe a place having a high human’s satisfactory number is what they have been looking for. In my opinion, a perfect world must be able to meet not only basic but also limitless needs of each individual. Also, this essay will suggest some reasonable solutions to idealize that realization. Firstly, a dream community must allow fulfilling all human requirements of mutual peace, education, health, and food supply. Failing to achieve one of these elements results in an unhealthy and unbalanced life. North Korea, for example, cannot claim itself a perfect country. Although the government has spent millions of dollars on building a strong and impressive army with high-tech weapons, their people still have to live in poverty and illiteracy. Furthermore, the ideal place should guarantee one’s spiritual life, which includes an interest in entertainment, lifelong development, and employability. Achieving such a society requires the effort of both the government and the people worldwide. Governments should enforce laws on protecting those requirements. At the same time, it is the public to join hands to help those living in difficult circumstances expose to basic must-haves and later, happiness. Moreover, it is high time we cared more about the environment and looked for sustainable development. Some actions to carry out are reducing plastic bags, reusing and reducing. More trees ought to be planted and more campaigns should be launched to raise public awareness. In conclusion, although a perfect world varied within each of us, I strongly hold that we opt for a place that can fulfil the material and spiritual needs of individuals and the public. Such a dream asks for the participants in the building process of everyone in the long term.
An ideal society has always been a dream of any individual in the course of history. For
many
countries, a rich and powerful community is worth pursuing while others believe a place having a high human’s satisfactory number is what they have been looking for. In my opinion, a perfect world
must
be able to
meet
not
only
basic
but
also
limitless needs of each individual.
Also
, this essay will suggest
some
reasonable solutions to idealize that realization.

Firstly
, a dream community
must
allow
fulfilling all human requirements of mutual peace, education, health, and food supply. Failing to achieve one of these elements results in an unhealthy and unbalanced life. North Korea,
for example
, cannot claim itself a perfect country. Although the
government
has spent millions of dollars on building a strong and impressive army with high-tech weapons, their
people
still
have to
live
in poverty and illiteracy.
Furthermore
, the ideal place should guarantee one’s spiritual life, which includes an interest in entertainment, lifelong development, and employability.

Achieving such a society requires the effort of both the
government
and the
people
worldwide.
Governments
should enforce laws on protecting those requirements. At the same time, it is the public to
join
hands to
help
those living in difficult circumstances expose to basic
must
-haves and later, happiness.
Moreover
, it is high time we cared more about the environment and looked for sustainable development.
Some
actions to carry out are reducing plastic bags, reusing and reducing. More trees ought to
be planted
and more campaigns should
be launched
to raise public awareness.

In conclusion
, although a perfect world varied within each of us, I
strongly
hold that we opt for a place that can fulfil the material and spiritual needs of individuals and the public. Such a dream
asks for
the participants in the building process of everyone in the long term.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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